ROTTEN TOMATOES: Cliff Doerksen

CLIFF DOERKSEN

Agrees with the Tomatometer 83% of the time.

Biography: Chicago Reader critic

Publications: Chicago Reader, Time Out, Time Out New York

Total Reviews: 35

LISTING OF ALL REVIEWS & ARTICLES

Rating	T-Meter	Title \| Year	Add Date (default)

Rotten	Rotten 16%	Planet 51 (2009)	" The script lacks wit, and the in-joke references to cinematic sci-fi classics will soar over little kids' heads without pleasing many adults." — Chicago Reader Posted Nov 20, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 38%	2012 (2009)	" As you might expect with director Roland Emmerich, the movie isn�t a patch on the trailer." — Chicago Reader Posted Nov 13, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 18%	The Fourth Kind (2009)	" Olatunde Osunsanmi's big formal innovation tunrs out to be the split-screen pairing of patently bogus "archival" black-and-white video that shows alleged abductees undergoing hypnosis and color "reenactments" of same." — Chicago Reader Posted Nov 5, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 11%	The Stepfather (2009)	" This perfunctory retread had a tame, made-for-TV feel, and not just because the humdrum cast is composed of network and cable B-listers." — Chicago Reader Posted Oct 18, 2009
Fresh	Fresh 94%	An Education (2009)	" As a dual portrait of low-level criminality and lower-middle-class insecurity, it�s unique and indelible." — Chicago Reader Posted Oct 8, 2009
Fresh	Fresh 62%	Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself (2009)	" Contrived, sentimental, tonally bipolar, and as predictable as clockwork, this latest from chitlin' circuit impressario Tyler Perry is just a fat slab of ecstatic entertainment." — Chicago Reader Posted Oct 2, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 27%	Pandorum (2009)	" The sort of thing that makes you wish you were playing a video game instead." — Chicago Reader Posted Sep 27, 2009
Rotten	Fresh 85%	Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)	" Determined to have their cake and eat it too, writer-directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller first invite us to revel in ice cream mountains and nacho cheese fountains, then clobber us with ham-handed nutritional moralism." — Chicago Reader Posted Sep 21, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 6%	Whiteout (2009)	" The film's slick and expensive looking but dumber than a dead penguin." — Chicago Reader Posted Sep 21, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 6%	All About Steve (2009)	" Packaged as a romantic comedy but devoid of comedy or romance, this baffling train wreck stars Sandra Bullock as a tediously kooky constructor of crossword puzzles for a Sacramento newspaper." — Chicago Reader Posted Sep 21, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 29%	Gamer (2009)	" *Directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor were responsible for the delirious Crank* and Crank 2 but left the magic behind.*" — Chicago Reader* Posted Sep 8, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 29%	The Final Destination (2009)	" Death, Be Not Boring would have been a better title for this fourth installment in the teen splatter franchise." — Chicago Reader Posted Sep 1, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 21%	Halloween II (2009)	" This umpteenth feature about the unstoppable masked killer Michael Myers could be the work of any journeyman, give or take a few hundred gratuitous pop-culture references." — Chicago Reader Posted Sep 1, 2009
Fresh	Fresh 82%	Thirst (2009)	" Park aficionados are assured their fix of lurid imagery and baroque plotting, though straight-up horror buffs may get restless during the sluggish and murky middle section; Twilight fans need not apply." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 20, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 26%	Shrink (2009)	" Man is born unto trouble as the sparks fly upward, and when those sparks emanate from a doobie clutched by Kevin Spacey, a smug critique of the American dream is sure to follow." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 20, 2009
Rotten	Fresh 89%	Pressure Cooker (2009)	" Wilma Stephenson...definitely deserves a subtler cinematic testament than this lazily inspirational documentary." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 20, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 58%	A Perfect Getaway (2009)	" Writer-director David Twohy (Pitch Black) serves up mechanical thrills culminating in a bogus twist ending" — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 20, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 55%	Orphan (2009)	" Director Jaume Collet-Serra (House of Wax) endows this ugly mess with a slew of unintentional laughs, but not enough to repay the 123-minute time suck." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 20, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 36%	G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)	" Loud, shiny, and critic-proof, this franchise launcher is basically Transformers minus the humanity." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 20, 2009
Fresh	Fresh 68%	Funny People (2009)	" Judd Apatow (Knocked Up, The 40-Year-Old Virgin) takes some interesting chances in this messy but engaging comedy, which suggests he may yet mature (no, seriously) into a filmmaker of substance." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 20, 2009
Fresh	Fresh 98%	Food, Inc. (2009)	" Smart, gripping, and untainted by the influence of Michael Moore." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 20, 2009
Rotten	Fresh 65%	Adam (2009)	" Written and directed by Max Mayer, this anodyne romantic comedy is as predictable as the alphabet but should hold particular appeal to women whose maternal impulses inflect their mating instincts." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 7, 2009
Fresh	Fresh 83%	Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)	" Director David Yates presides over some gorgeous CGI set pieces, but all the real magic comes from the scrum of ace British character actors." — Chicago Reader Posted Jul 17, 2009
Fresh	Rotten 54%	The Stoning of Soraya M. (2009)	" This gory, ham-fisted hybrid of social-issue picture and horror film exerts a crude but undeniable power." — Chicago Reader Posted Jun 26, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 10%	My Life in Ruins (2009)	" Some lame gay-baiting adds ugliness to the wretched proceedings." — Chicago Reader Posted Jun 5, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 19%	Obsessed (2009)	" This biracial entry in the psycho-bitch stalker sweepstakes is inept and stupid but not without its base pleasures." — Chicago Reader Posted Apr 27, 2009
Rotten	Rotten 7%	Babylon A.D. (2008)	" A must-see only for fans of snowmobile chases." — Chicago Reader Posted Sep 2, 2008
Rotten	Fresh 69%	L'Iceberg (2005)	" Cute but toothless." — Time Out Posted Jul 26, 2007
Rotten 1/6	Rotten 20%	Rush Hour 3 (2007)	" The cinematic equivalent of a third-generation photocopy of a doodle barely worth a glance in the first place." — Time Out Posted Jul 14, 2007
Fresh	Fresh 96%	Plagues and Pleasures on the Salton Sea (2007)	" Narrated with morbid relish by John Waters, this witty doc chronicles the rise and ruination of the Salton Sea, a tiny inland ocean once promoted as 'California�s Riviera' but now a festering, apocalyptically hideous ecological disaster zone." — Time Out New York Posted Jul 12, 2007
Rotten 1/4	Rotten 21%	Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)	" Is it utopian to expect better of the next first-person shooter that comes to the screen?" — Chicago Reader Posted Sep 17, 2004
Fresh 3/4	Fresh 90%	Mean Creek (2004)	" *Very much its own picture -- and a damn sight better one than Stand by Me." — Chicago Reader* Posted Sep 3, 2004
Rotten 0/4	Rotten 22%	Alien vs. Predator (2004)	" Expensive claptrap." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 20, 2004
Fresh 4/4	Fresh 82%	The Manchurian Candidate (2004)	" Strikes me as a very artful cover -- about the cleverest imaginable transliteration of the story from its historical moment to ours." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 13, 2004
Rotten	Rotten 50%	Yes Nurse! No Nurse! (2004)	" The songs are shrill and cloying (if mercifully forgettable), the choreography is embarrassing, and the comedy sets a new global standard for puerility -- and not in a fun way." — Chicago Reader Posted Aug 7, 2004

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CLIFF DOERKSEN

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