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Critics / Jordan Hoffman
Jordan Hoffman

    JORDAN HOFFMAN

    Agrees with the Tomatometer 70% of the time.

    Publications: LeisureSuit.net, UGO

    Total Reviews: 81

    Location: New York City

    LISTING OF ALL REVIEWS & ARTICLES

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    # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
    Results for All Genres
    Showing 1 - 50 of 81
    Previous | Next
    Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date (default)

    Fresh
    A

    Fresh
    85%

    Avatar (2009)

    " No, there's no clever wordplay, but the sophistication exists in the vistas, the landscape, the staggering use of new technology." — UGO

    Posted Dec 11, 2009

    Rotten
    C

    Rotten
    38%

    The Lovely Bones (2009)

    " I'd say watch with the sound off, but then you'd miss the Brian Eno score. Try the Blu-ray but toggle the audio to a language you do not speak." — UGO

    Posted Dec 10, 2009

    Fresh
    B+

    Fresh
    90%

    Up in the Air (2009)

    " With his third project it is now clear: Jason Reitman is our foremost maker of good-but-not-great films." — UGO

    Posted Dec 3, 2009

    Fresh

    Fresh
    83%

    The Princess and the Frog (2009)

    " • The Princess and the Frog is a movie dedicated to having your beignet and eating it, too. It is a timeless story, yet has a modern spirit when necessary." — UGO

    Posted Nov 25, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    86%

    Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009)

    " Leave it to Werner Herzog to shoot a film in New Orleans with not one image of the French Quarter %u2013 and to harness Nicolas Cage's Razzie-worthy acting into something meaningful." — UGO

    Posted Nov 20, 2009

    Rotten
    C-

    Rotten
    28%

    The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

    " Never has a man's shirtlessness been so essential to a character's development." — UGO

    Posted Nov 19, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    92%

    Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

    " "Fantastic Mr. Fox [is] Wes Anderson's most enjoyable film since Rushmore."" — UGO

    Posted Nov 12, 2009

    Fresh
    B+

    Rotten
    45%

    The Box (2009)

    " The first forty-five minutes does stay straightforward and (in the best possible sense of the word) conventional. Then all kinds of crazy break out." — UGO

    Posted Nov 6, 2009

    Rotten
    C-

    Rotten
    54%

    The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)

    " No doubt is aiming for a Catch-22 or Dr. Strangelove. . .it feels more like the Mel Gibson/Robert Downey Jr. vehicle Air America." — UGO

    Posted Nov 5, 2009

    Rotten
    D

    Rotten
    18%

    The Fourth Kind (2009)

    " The Fourth Kind may have more unmotivated booms in its mix than any film I've ever seen." — UGO

    Posted Nov 4, 2009

    Rotten
    D-

    Rotten
    16%

    Gentlemen Broncos (2009)

    " Jared Hess is now, after Rudolf Hess, my most hated Hess." — UGO

    Posted Oct 30, 2009

    Fresh
    B-

    N/A

    Life During Wartime (2009)

    " There is something to giggle at in nearly every frame of the movie." — UGO

    Posted Oct 30, 2009

    Fresh
    B-

    Rotten
    20%

    The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (2009)

    " I find enough to keep me in a satiated stupor here." — UGO

    Posted Oct 29, 2009

    Rotten
    C-

    Fresh
    73%

    Where the Wild Things Are (2009)

    " Where The Wild Things Are is beautiful, but it is also a mess." — UGO

    Posted Oct 14, 2009

    Fresh
    B-

    Fresh
    87%

    The House of the Devil (2009)

    " A group of people old enough to remember VHS parties may very well have flashbacks of the old days - for better and for worse - should they visit The House of the Devil." — UGO

    Posted Oct 12, 2009

    Rotten
    D+

    Rotten
    12%

    Couples Retreat (2009)

    " The "retreat" in the title is surely a warning to any potential ticket buyers." — UGO

    Posted Oct 9, 2009

    Rotten
    C-

    Rotten
    34%

    St. Trinian's (2009)

    " Sadly, the level of deviance hovers around iCarly levels, as does the sophistication of the humor." — UGO

    Posted Oct 9, 2009

    Fresh
    B

    Fresh
    89%

    Zombieland (2009)

    " Eisenberg and Harrelson make a fine post-apocalyptic Hope and Crosby, zinging their way through set pieces of undead destruction." — UGO

    Posted Sep 30, 2009

    Fresh
    B+

    Rotten
    40%

    Surrogates (2009)

    " Who doesn't want to see Radha Mitchell hurl a parking meter like a javelin?" — UGO

    Posted Sep 24, 2009

    Rotten
    C

    Fresh
    75%

    Capitalism: A Love Story (2009)

    " "A somewhat-droll, somewhat-glib superficial expose into how The Man is screwing you over."" — UGO

    Posted Sep 22, 2009

    Fresh
    B

    Fresh
    77%

    The Informant! (2009)

    " The Informant! is a fun, silly movie filled with absurd non sequiturs, unexpected story twists and one fugly moustache." — UGO

    Posted Sep 18, 2009

    Fresh
    B+

    Rotten
    44%

    Jennifer's Body (2009)

    " The haters can go choke on some Boston Market and MoveOn.org." — UGO

    Posted Sep 15, 2009

    Rotten
    D

    Rotten
    6%

    Whiteout (2009)

    " Absurdities are to be expected in "genre" filmmaking, but disbelief can only be suspended so far." — UGO

    Posted Sep 10, 2009

    Fresh
    B+

    Rotten
    57%

    9 (2009)

    " [9's look] at times felt steampunk, and at other times looked straight goth. Then I realized it was something much better: it was unique." — UGO

    Posted Sep 8, 2009

    Rotten
    B-

    Fresh
    72%

    Definitely, Maybe (2008)

    " This is straight-up young people whining about their relationships." — UGO

    Posted Sep 8, 2009

    Rotten
    D+

    Rotten
    29%

    Gamer (2009)

    " When they open a Bad Movie Hall of Fame, there'll be a display case waiting for Amber Valletta's shorts." — UGO

    Posted Sep 4, 2009

    Fresh
    B+

    Fresh
    63%

    Extract (2009)

    " Extract nails the slow burn." — UGO

    Posted Sep 4, 2009

    Fresh
    B

    Fresh
    77%

    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

    " I'll answer the most important question first. Yes, there is a Wilhelm scream in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." — UGO

    Posted Aug 31, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    87%

    Big Fan (2009)

    " It is a fabulous "What If?" and Siegel's screenplay squeezes drama out of every possible story permutation." — UGO

    Posted Aug 25, 2009

    Fresh
    B

    Fresh
    86%

    The Baader Meinhof Complex (2009)

    " Never let it be said that when the Germans put their mind to something they don't follow through." — UGO

    Posted Aug 24, 2009

    Fresh
    B

    Fresh
    85%

    World's Greatest Dad (2009)

    " World's Greatest Dad is a dark film, but it retains a likability factor from a very unexpected source: Robin Williams." — UGO

    Posted Aug 19, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    88%

    Inglourious Basterds (2009)

    " Every moment of genre-mashing, basking in the glow of left-field sound cues or funking up a scene's rhythm with unexpected edits has been a dress rehearsal of sorts for Inglourious Basterds." — UGO

    Posted Aug 18, 2009

    Fresh
    B+

    Fresh
    65%

    Duplicity (2009)

    " It's not unfair to say that Duplicity is Michael Clayton on laughing gas. What's remarkable is that both movies pretty much work." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Fresh
    B

    Fresh
    72%

    Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)

    " Monsters Vs. Aliens has plenty of lively animation and a handful of solid jokes. It is not of a caliber of most of the Pixar films, but, at times, it comes close." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Rotten
    C+

    Fresh
    60%

    Paper Heart (2009)

    " Watching Paper Heart isn't a painful process, but it isn't electrifying either." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Rotten
    D-

    Rotten
    18%

    The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)

    " Woe be to you if you don't see this film in a theater packed with back talking New Yorkers. Because then you might be forced to concentrate on what's on screen." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    98%

    Anvil! The Story of Anvil (2009)

    " Anvil! The Story of Anvil is overflowing with honesty. It is fair to say that it is to metal what The Wrestler is to wrestling. It is brutal but, in a way, triumphant." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    91%

    There Will Be Blood (2007)

    " In a way, there's not a step you haven't seen in classics going as far back as Citizen Kane. Still, there are enough oddities in the details to keep you full of questions." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    85%

    Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

    " This is a remarkable piece of work for people who like their genres all mashed together in a meat grinder." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    76%

    Cloverfield (2008)

    " For gasps and thrills and movie monster mayhem, the film is a success. It's not flawless, but if you shove that aside, I guarantee you that you will have a gas at the theater." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    88%

    Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007)

    " Suspense and action would be enough to seal this film, but the feeling of dread, that under different circumstances this could be us, makes this a heist picture for the ages." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Rotten
    C+

    Rotten
    28%

    Fast & Furious (2009)

    " Fast & Furious is a piece of junk, but at least it is an entertaining and endearing piece of junk. For a franchise I actively dislike, this is the best of the bunch." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Fresh
    B

    Rotten
    33%

    Knowing (2009)

    " Knowing feels like a bunch of cool ideas that were strewn about a table, picked up, shoved together, tied up with duct tape and, somehow, managed to stay working for the ride." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Rotten
    C-

    Fresh
    72%

    Sunshine Cleaning (2009)

    " There's close to nothing about this film that isn't contrived, forced and reminiscent of movies that twist themselves into knots to achieve Harold and Maude-like quirky charm." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Fresh
    B

    Rotten
    32%

    Fanboys (2009)

    " For those who get a gag like 'Looking for love in Alderaan places?' you don't have to worry if the movie is on your level or not." — UGO

    Posted Aug 14, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    71%

    The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

    " Between the visuals and the Pitt factor, this is a movie your girlfriend will dig, but there's enough crazy fantasy stuff going on that I'd never call it a "chick flick."" — UGO

    Posted Aug 13, 2009

    Fresh
    B-

    Fresh
    87%

    Timecrimes (2008)

    " While I enjoyed the film a great deal, I honestly wonder if there'd be this amount of hoopla if the picture, say, starred a yamhead like Val Kilmer and was set in New Jersey." — UGO

    Posted Aug 13, 2009

    Rotten
    C

    Fresh
    64%

    Quantum of Solace (2008)

    " I'm so turned off by this, I don't even have the energy to trash it. Why should I think of something clever to write? The authors clearly didn't see that as a mandate." — UGO

    Posted Aug 13, 2009

    Fresh
    A-

    Fresh
    76%

    Role Models (2008)

    " Role Models is a film for the nerds, by the nerds. Lucky for Role Models, the rest of our culture is catching up and are invited along as well." — UGO

    Posted Aug 13, 2009

    Rotten
    D

    Fresh
    91%

    Ponyo (2009)

    " If you consider Teletubbies to be a work of creative genius then, yeah, okay, Ponyo is great, too." — UGO

    Posted Aug 13, 2009
    Results for All Genres
    Showing 1 - 50 of 81
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    Best to Worst Sampling

    Best to Worst Sampling

    A

    MoonOffsite

    A-

    The Hurt LockerOffsite

    B+

    BrunoOffsite

    B

    G.I. Joe: The Rise of CobraOffsite

    B-

    Transformers: Revenge of the FallenOffsite

    C+

    Whatever WorksOffsite

    C

    Capitalism: A Love StoryOffsite

    C-

    HumpdayOffsite

    D+

    GamerOffsite

    D

    S. Darko: A Donnie Darko TaleOffsite

    D-

    The Haunting in ConnecticutOffsite

    Best Reviewed

    Best Reviewed

    A

    AvatarOffsite

    A

    MoonOffsite

    A-

    Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New OrleansOffsite

    A-

    Fantastic Mr. FoxOffsite

    A-

    Big FanOffsite

    A-

    Inglourious BasterdsOffsite

    A-

    Anvil! The Story of AnvilOffsite

    A-

    There Will Be BloodOffsite

    A-

    Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of...Offsite

    A-

    CloverfieldOffsite

    More…

    Worst Reviewed

    Worst Reviewed

    D-

    Gentlemen BroncosOffsite

    D-

    The Haunting in ConnecticutOffsite

    D

    The Fourth KindOffsite

    D

    WhiteoutOffsite

    D

    PonyoOffsite

    D

    S. Darko: A Donnie Darko TaleOffsite

    More…

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