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Critics / Michael Ordoņa
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  • Official Websites:
    calendarlive.com/movies/

MICHAEL ORDOņA

Agrees with the Tomatometer 67% of the time.

Publications: Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times

Total Reviews: 90

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# a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
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Showing 1 - 50 of 90
Previous | Next
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date (default)

Rotten
1/5

Rotten
14%

Looking for Palladin (2009)

" Looking for Palladin meanders around Antigua (Guatemala) at a leisurely gait and enjoys the presence of Ben Gazzara in its central role. That's about all there is to find, however." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Nov 5, 2009

Fresh
3.5/5

Rotten
25%

Adventures of Power (2009)

" Gold places his fond comedy in the '80s with all the cinematic skill of early MTV." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Oct 16, 2009

Fresh
4/5

Fresh
89%

Zombieland (2009)

" There are even a few poignant moments in the movie, but they don't get in the way of the funny, violent, zombie-killing good time." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Oct 2, 2009

Fresh
3/5

Rotten
33%

The Open Road (2009)

" The Open Road is no Grand Prix winner, but it's no six-car pileup either. It's a low-key road movie that doesn't stray far from the very, very beaten path." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Sep 3, 2009

Rotten
2/5

Fresh
72%

I Sell the Dead (2009)

" The worst fault visually, probably intended as a charm against the spell of low-budget-itis, is relentless darkness. Pervasive shadows in most shots do not evoke atmosphere, but eye strain." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Aug 14, 2009

Fresh
4/5

Fresh
68%

Grace (2009)

" It's a horrifying meditation on the unbreakable union of mother and child." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Aug 14, 2009

Rotten
2.5/5

Rotten
25%

The Collector (2009)

" Critiquing the filmic technique of this blatant horror franchise-bait is akin to quibbling with the shade of lipstick on a slaughtered pig." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jul 31, 2009

Fresh
4/5

Fresh
95%

In the Loop (2009)

" A very effective, verbally blood-stained portrait of how a little brazen scheming on one side, coupled with selfishness and failure of nerve on the other, can actually change the world." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jul 24, 2009

Fresh
4/5

Fresh
87%

500 Days of Summer (2009)

" (500) Days of Summer is something seldom seen: an original romantic comedy." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jul 17, 2009

Rotten
1/5

Rotten
20%

Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)

" Often-unwatchably dim." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jul 10, 2009

Fresh
4/5

Fresh
77%

Big Man Japan (2009)

" You've probably never seen anything like Big Man Japan." — Los Angeles Times

Posted May 15, 2009

Rotten
2.5/5

Rotten
17%

Mutant Chronicles (2009)

" It's photogenic people killing mutants before green screens; what more could you ask?" — Los Angeles Times

Posted Apr 29, 2009

Fresh
3/5

Rotten
56%

Lymelife (2009)

" Despite the familiar themes, the movie maintains its originality through its specificity." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Apr 17, 2009

Fresh
4/5

Rotten
33%

Delhi-6 (2009)

" Anchored by a fascinating score from Oscar winner A.R. Rahman, naturalistic performances and a wide cinematic palette, Delhi-6 is a fair introduction to Indian cinema for outsiders -- who will have no clue at times why the audience is laughing." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Feb 27, 2009

Rotten
2/5

Rotten
21%

Passengers (2008)

" It's a long ride to a familiar destination." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Oct 30, 2008

Fresh
3/4

Rotten
52%

Allah Made Me Funny (2008)

" It has the potential to be culturally bridging in its way, and that makes looking for Muslim comedy in the Western world worthwhile." — Chicago Tribune

Posted Oct 3, 2008

Fresh
3.5/5

Fresh
72%

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist (2008)

" It is a teen romantic comedy that largely fits the familiar template but is also fleshed out with atmosphere, a nice blend of broad goofiness and sophistication, and two appealing leads who bring it to life." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Oct 2, 2008

Rotten

Rotten
40%

Callback: The Unmaking of Bloodstain (2008)

" A mockumentary-thriller-broad-comedy-psychological-drama-sex-farce-insider-Hollywood satire that . . . wait for it . . . could use some focus." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Sep 29, 2008

Fresh

Rotten
33%

Forever Strong (2008)

" The movie is well shot and edited, the rugby scenes are enjoyable (if likely puzzling to the uninitiated) and Strong's earnestness excuses at least some of its predictability." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Sep 26, 2008

Rotten
1.5/5

Rotten
15%

My Best Friend's Girl (2008)

" Ultimately, its most unforgivable sin is that it's simply not funny." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Sep 22, 2008

Fresh
3/5

Fresh
86%

Tinker Bell (2008)

" To its target audience, it will be another self-empowerment fable with loads of imagination and colorful, painterly images (and a keen marketing blast for Disney fairies)." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Sep 19, 2008

Rotten
2/5

Rotten
9%

Bangkok Dangerous (2008)

" There's a charming restaurant scene, some nifty hand-to-hand combat and the cast is great looking. But pretty much all the things that made the original so original are filtered out of this un-original." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Sep 8, 2008

Rotten
2/5

Rotten
7%

Babylon A.D. (2008)

" Babylon feels like an almost random pastiche of good and bad. There may be a deadly virus, or genetic engineering, or a virgin birth, or some combination of all, it's not clear." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Sep 2, 2008

Rotten
1.5/5

Rotten
2%

Disaster Movie (2008)

" Perhaps they'll eventually make one called Spoof Movie, which would brilliantly parody the genre by being consistently funny." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Sep 2, 2008

Fresh
4/5

Rotten
43%

What We Do Is Secret (2008)

" First-time writer-director Rodger Grossman bangs out a visceral, energized biopic that captures the vibrant idiocy of punked-out youth and a tortured soul gaining his wish of cult status." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Aug 22, 2008

Fresh
3/5

Rotten
39%

The House Bunny (2008)

" Factory made, nothing new... and really funny." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Aug 22, 2008

Rotten

Fresh
64%

Sixty Six (2008)

" Sixty Six may find a niche audience, but instead of depicting a boy's first steps toward manhood -- ceremony aside -- it turns into an uninvolving portrait of self-absorption." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Aug 6, 2008

Rotten
2/5

Rotten
47%

Bottle Shock (2008)

" The soul of the grape, that thing that elevates a wine to greatness, proves here as elusive on screen as in the bottle." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Aug 6, 2008

Fresh
4/5

Fresh
77%

Baghead (2008)

" Delightfully unpredictable." — Chicago Tribune

Posted Jul 25, 2008

Fresh
3/5

Fresh
71%

American Teen (2008)

" The kids' mistakes make you cringe -- often with laughs of recognition -- and, during the film's most involving moments, makes you long to comfort them through their trials and cheer on their triumphs." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jul 25, 2008

Rotten
2/5

Rotten
37%

Space Chimps (2008)

" There's probably not enough fuel beyond cute chimps in Candyland to achieve orbit for the kids." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jul 18, 2008

Rotten
1.5/5

Rotten
17%

National Lampoon's Homo Erectus (2008)

" Thanks to natural selection, without the script, direction or comedic chops to survive, Homo Erectus will be extinct from theaters soon enough." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jul 11, 2008

Fresh
3/5

Fresh
100%

Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic (2008)

" As obvious as the film's uncredited sources are, it's a pleasant-enough diversion with a notable song score." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jul 3, 2008

Fresh
3.5/5

Fresh
79%

Kit Kittredge: An American Girl (2008)

" It appeals to kids while evoking genuine emotion without excessive sentimentality." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jun 20, 2008

Fresh
3/5

Fresh
64%

Poultrygeist - Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

" A heaping helping of political incorrectness gleefully spiced to offend just about every sentient being." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jun 13, 2008

Rotten
2/5

N/A

Polar Opposites (2008)

" More disastrous than disaster movie." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jun 6, 2008

Rotten
2/5

N/A

Solar Flare (2008)

" The film tries to be a cautionary tale against corporate interference in both the environment and technology, but it really serves as a warning beacon against enervated staging and ineffectual dialogue." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jun 6, 2008

Fresh
4/5

Fresh
93%

Shotgun Stories (2007)

" Shotgun Stories is a cautionary tale about revenge, but more than that, it is a beautiful, authentic-feeling portrait of a family and a place." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Apr 25, 2008

Fresh
4/5

Rotten
40%

Zombie Strippers (2008)

" Zombie Strippers is a B-movie whose ideas and wit set it well above the great unwashed of the genre." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Apr 18, 2008

Rotten
2/5

Fresh
60%

Look (2007)

" With its emphasis on its interweaving stories, the movie offers no commentary on the phenomenon of increasingly pried-apart privacy, positive or negative." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Dec 14, 2007

Fresh
3/5

Rotten
27%

Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)

" Dang it, the little animated rodents are cute. Not as cute as the über-rendered daemons of The Golden Compass, but they'll do." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Dec 14, 2007

Rotten
3/5

Rotten
16%

Nina's Heavenly Delights (2007)

" Making her feature debut after several documentaries, Parmar displays rookie jitters with excessive cutting and camera moves whose restlessness occasionally recalls Mumbai soap operas." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Nov 21, 2007

Rotten
1.5/5

Rotten
48%

Hatchet (2007)

" Even after appropriately lowering expectations, it's kind to call this one a cut below." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Sep 7, 2007

Rotten
2/5

Rotten
35%

Self-Medicated (2007)

" Self-Medicated must have been cathartic for writer-director-producer-star Monty Lapica to make, but its therapeutic value for audiences is questionable." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Aug 31, 2007

Fresh
3/5

Rotten
53%

David & Layla (2008)

" Though it's no Romeo and Juliet, David & Layla is an offbeat cross-cultural romance with a positive message." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jul 19, 2007

Rotten
2.5/5

N/A

The Last Confederate: The Story of Robert Adams (2005)

" The film is passionately made, but its unapologetically romantic views of war and the Old South leave a bitter aftertaste." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jun 8, 2007

Fresh
4/5

Fresh
98%

The Devil Came On Horseback (2007)

" Documentarians Ricki Stein and Annie Sundberg do a good job of explaining, through [interviewee] Steidle, the complex conflicts in the region." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Jun 1, 2007

Rotten
1.5/5

Rotten
13%

The Salon (2005)

" This movie abruptly becomes a too-convenient black history lesson, complete with a truly egregious deus ex machina. The Salon is a cut below." — Los Angeles Times

Posted May 11, 2007

Fresh
3.5/5

Fresh
83%

Rock the Bells (2007)

" Rock the Bells is stressful to watch, but its entertaining stage performances and document of people under pressure should interest even non-rap fans." — Los Angeles Times

Posted May 4, 2007

Fresh
4/5

Fresh
64%

American Cannibal - The Documentary (2006)

" The real savagery is in the satire, coldly measuring the lengths to which contestants might go and the depths to which the protagonists sink." — Los Angeles Times

Posted Apr 27, 2007
Results for All Genres
Showing 1 - 50 of 90
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Best to Worst Sampling

Best to Worst Sampling

4/5

Mardi Gras: Made in ChinaOffsite

3/4

Allah Made Me FunnyOffsite

3.5/5

ConfettiOffsite

3/5

HavenOffsite

2.5/5

CrankOffsite

2/5

Shock to the SystemOffsite

1.5/5

Disaster MovieOffsite

1/5

The CovenantOffsite

Best Reviewed

Best Reviewed

More…

Worst Reviewed

Worst Reviewed

1/5

Looking for PalladinOffsite

1/5

Blood: The Last VampireOffsite

1/5

PathfinderOffsite

1/5

Van Wilder: The Rise of TajOffsite

1/5

The CovenantOffsite

More…

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