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Critics / Authors Reviews and Articles
LARUSHKA IVAN-ZADEH
PUBLICATION(S)
• Metro [UK]
• This is London

STATS
Total Reviews: 57


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Genre:   # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ... (1-21 of 21)
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/
2/5
 
" The story is far-fetched and exploitative and the awkward dialogue is frequently laughable. But committed acting, cast chemistry and the odd touching moment just about save you from checking whether this was actually produced by Bernard Matthews." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Oct 24, 2008
 
Incendiary (2008)26%
/
2/5
 
" This glittery Disney product may boast the biggest, fastest advance sales in movie history but it remains largely a mystery to those of us with an age in double figures." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Oct 24, 2008
 
High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008)67%
/
1/5
 
" Mutant Chronicles is as atrocious as its terrible title suggests – but one redemptive aspect to this based-on- a-role-play-game snooze-fest is its ambitious visual flair." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Oct 10, 2008
 
Mutant Chronicles (2008)20%
/
2/5
 
" But High Tension director Alexandre Aja's disappointingly low-tension Hollywood studio remake is a pale reflection of its Korean original." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Oct 10, 2008
 
Mirrors (2008)14%
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1/5
 
" And though 14-year-old Saoirse Ronan (Oscar-nominated for Atonement) shines as the city's saviour, even she can't light a path through a suspenseless plot seemingly attacked by hungry moths." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Oct 10, 2008
 
City of Ember (2008)48%
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" Don't get excited by the saucy title of this offbeat US indie. What sounds like an X-rated skin flick is in fact an indulgent, emotionally ersatz 'unusual fairytale' of a lonely young woman." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Oct 3, 2008
 
Good Dick (2008)47%
/
2/5
 
" You may think I'm being a spoilsport but I'm doing you a favour by lowering your expectations. Get the beers in first and Tom Cruise jive-dancing to T-Pain's Lo in a hairy fat suit may well be the funniest thing you've seen that evening." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Sep 19, 2008
 
Tropic Thunder (2008)83%
/
1/5
 
" A ghastly Sex And The City knock-off guaranteed to make its chick-flick audience storm angrily out in search of the next Rambo movie." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Sep 12, 2008
 
The Women (2008)13%
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2/5
 
" Proof that Cage will sign up to anything that involves a mad hair weave and a motorbike." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Sep 5, 2008
 
Bangkok Dangerous (2008)9%
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2/5
 
" You'll find yourself less fixated on inner turmoil than whether you could feasibly slip a cocktail sausage between her perma-pouting lips." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Sep 5, 2008
 
The Duchess (2008)61%
/
1/5
 
" A good scary movie retells a creaky story in a manner that terrifies you afresh. All this has is Tyler trembling like a wet-lipped goldfish in a performance you could peg out to drip dry. Run away." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 29, 2008
 
The Strangers (2008)44%
/
2/5
 
" A sci-fi actioner that sees bald hero Vin Diesel back stomping around the future like a small, gun-toting penis." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 29, 2008
 
Babylon A.D. (2008)7%
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2/5
 
" Funny as it is watching balding middle-aged men clowning like eight-year-olds – particularly when it involves Ferrell man-crying – it soon starts to grow old when that's all the script has to offer." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 29, 2008
 
Step Brothers (2008)54%
/
2/5
 
" An uninspired comedy that runs the full gamut from characters being punched in the groin/face to being shot in the face/groin, until everything culminates in an expensively pointless action finale." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 22, 2008
 
Get Smart (2008)53%
/
2/5
 
" It's narrated with ear-tearing pretentiousness by snapper Edo Bertoglio, primarily as an attempt to get over his past – he should have concentrated on getting over himself." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 22, 2008
 
Face Addict (2008)30%
/
1/5
 
" For horrified parents, Donny Osmond's cameo is – scarily – the sole lifebelt in a truly desperate mess of unamusing plot randomness, which runs from sky-diving to high-IQ pigs." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 22, 2008
 
College Road Trip (2008)12%
/
 
" Any magic is instantly dispelled by the dead hand of a tirelessly pouting Zeta-Jones, whose slap boasts more layers than her talent." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 8, 2008
 
Death Defying Acts (2008)44%
/
2/5
 
" Overlong and overcrowded, this tired threequel soon has you yawning. John Hannah's cry: 'Die, you mummy b******s, die!' is the only line to raise a cheer." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 8, 2008
 
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)14%
/
2/5
 
" The only truly memorable element is Billy Connolly, who pops up rather desperately as a self-castrated paedophile psychic priest. Enough now." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 1, 2008
 
The X-Files: I Want to Believe (2008)32%
/
1/5
 
" You'll wish the once-talented Myers had merely rested on his laurels rather than pooping into them." -- Metro [UK]
Posted Aug 1, 2008
 
The Love Guru (2008)14%
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1/5
 
" As clunky as it is emotionally unconvincing." -- This is London
Posted Aug 3, 2007
 
Wind Chill (2007)48%

Genre:   # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ... (1-21 of 21)
* Sort by Rating: Sort results by this critic's rating. This option is only available for critics with a rating system (4 star, letter grade, 1-10, etc.)
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