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Critics / David Keyes
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    Cinemaphile.org

DAVID KEYES

""Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.""

Agrees with the Tomatometer 74% of the time.

Biography: A love of films. A love of the written word. What better way to combine them? I started this little movie reviewing gig on the 'net back in 1998 when I was just 17. At the time, the idea wasn't exactly a developed one on my part (I never even fathomed the concept until it was suggested to me by a high school instructor), but once it began, it was as if I was physically incapable of stopping. For that year and the next, film criticism was life. On a personal level, it was also a visceral experience, something that I and I alone could do without having my work comprimised by some kind of looming superior (I guess school gives you that mentality naturally). For a time following the whole K-12 thing (and even a bit into college), I wanted this to be a career. Unfortunately, time and dedication, especially in isolation, tends to build walls around your ego -- thus, I was put off by the impending notion that I couldn't have complete control over my own material in a paid profession, so the idea went from being a career goal to a recreational hobby rather quickly. Thankfully, I wasn't as defensive about my other Journalistic talents, so I didn't give up on the vocation entirely. I currently freelance for publications whose primary audiences are those that thrive on information-gathering, and the prospect of objective and thorough reporting is an art in itself. But one doesn't write just for the sake of writing, either; it has to be something engaging on a personal level, otherwise your wasting your time. Though movie reviewing has taken a back-burner in recent years to other things, it has nonetheless lived on in some capacity -- and for the sake of staying up with the times, that simple old free Geocities site I opened in the summer of '98 was moved to its own fully-paid server in early 2004. Cinemaphile.org is the culmination of all that work, and I'm proud that I am able to keep up this little hobby in a way that doesn't seem easily disposable. I love the movies and I love writing about them, and I intend on keeping the hobby under my belt as long as people are still willing to hear what I have to say.
Favorites: Ingmar Bergman's "Wild Strawberries" John Boorman's "Excalibur" Tim Burton's "Ed Wood" Joel Coen's "Fargo" Jonathan Demme's "Beloved" William Friedkin's "The Exorcist" Christophe Gans' "Brotherhood of the Wolf" Mary Harron's "American Psycho" Werner Herzog's "Aguirre: The Wrath of God" Alfred Hitchcock's "Strangers on a Train" Peter Jackson's "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining" Akira Kurosawa's "Throne of Blood" Meyno Meyjes' "Max" Bill Paxton's "Frailty" Roman Polanski's "Chinatown" Alex Proyas' "Dark City" Ridley Scott's "Alien" Quentin Tarrantino's "Pulp Fiction" The Wachowski Brothers' "The Matrix" Robert Wiene's "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari"

Publications: Cinemaphile.org, David Keyes' Cinema 2000

Critics' Group: Online Film Critics Society

Total Reviews: 587

Location: Troutdale, Oregon

LISTING OF ALL REVIEWS & ARTICLES

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# a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres
Showing 1 - 50 of 587
Previous | Next
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Add Date (default)

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
55%

Orphan (2009)

" ... an angry, bitter and abhorrent display of masochism masquerading around as a legitimate horror film." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Aug 3, 2009

Fresh
3.5/4

Fresh
83%

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

" This is a movie that steps far outside of the comfort zone and becomes an enthralling and fully-realized gothic fantasy." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Aug 3, 2009

Fresh
2.5/4

Fresh
77%

The Hangover (2009)

" It is easily the most unlabored comedy of the recent past. But seriously, how many times has a story like this been told?" — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Aug 3, 2009

Fresh
3.5/4

Fresh
98%

Up (2009)

" opens on a note of human subtlety that goes beyond what we expect of a cartoon and grows into what may very well be the most touching human drama of the year." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Aug 3, 2009

Fresh
3/4

Rotten
31%

Terminator Salvation (2009)

" The story is straightforward without being boring. The characters are fully realized." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Aug 3, 2009

Fresh
4/4

Fresh
77%

Dark City (1998)

" If anything can be said of the movie that keeps it relevant in a time when ideas are of a different supply, it's that it is one of the few movies of years past that endures not because it has a lot to say, but because it inspires its viewers to say more." — Cinemaphile.org
DVD REVIEW

Posted Aug 17, 2008

Fresh
3/4

Fresh
77%

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

" Give me an aged archaeologist with a whip any day over a gun-toting secret agent sipping Martinis under the code-name of 007." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Aug 17, 2008

Fresh
4/4

Fresh
94%

The Dark Knight (2008)

" This is without a doubt the best -- and most important -- picture of the year." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Aug 17, 2008

Fresh
3.5/4

Fresh
66%

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)

" ...continues in the tradition to create vivid, imaginary and enthusiastic interpretations of the most memorable children's books of the past century." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted May 22, 2008

Fresh
3/4

Rotten
37%

Speed Racer (2008)

" "Speed Racer" is a stylish, electrifying, intense and visually breathtaking catastrophe of a movie..." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted May 22, 2008

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
13%

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

" ...an ugly film, overwhelmed by transparent shock value, short-sighted storytelling and nihilistic undertones." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted May 22, 2008

Rotten
2.5/4

Rotten
42%

The Golden Compass (2007)

" ... plays too innocent with its premise, seldom allows its characters to gain dimension, and all but ignores the looming instinct of the plot to abandon its innocence and begin discovering the dark little secrets of the writer's complex world." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Dec 7, 2007

Rotten
1.5/4

Fresh
71%

Beowulf (2007)

" For all the visual wizardry at work on screen in Robert Zemeckis' "Beowulf," it's a wonder I found myself leaving the theater feeling lifeless and unenthusiastic." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Dec 7, 2007

Rotten
2.5/4

Rotten
34%

Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)

" ... fearsome and passionate with its visual flair, but incredibly confused as to how it wants to address Elizabeth's life beyond what has already been realized." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Dec 7, 2007

Rotten
2/4

Rotten
37%

Death of a President (2006)

" Without directly confronting the behaviors and attitudes associated with its theory, the movie leaves us with uncertainty, vacillation, and worst of all, emptiness." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Sep 21, 2007

Fresh
3.5/4

Fresh
77%

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)

" Complex, meditative & inspired in the way it allows tug-of-war fantasy ideals to be combined with elements of human drama and political intrigue." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 15, 2007

Fresh
3.5/4

Fresh
92%

Children of Men (2006)

" The very soul of the film scoffs at the expectation of being conventional or formulaic." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 9, 2007

N/A

Fresh
96%

Ratatouille (2007)

" House of Mouse acknowledges members of press with overt display of suspicion" — Cinemaphile.org
ESSAY

Posted Jul 1, 2007

Rotten
2.5/4

Rotten
45%

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

" "At World's End" is a sweepingly ambitious movie that, alas, takes too long making its point, and far less effort in doing something meaty with the opportunities given to it." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 1, 2007

Fresh
3.5/4

Fresh
72%

28 Weeks Later (2007)

" "Weeks" abandons any trace of hope it has in characters prevailing for the better. It is cynical, nihilistic and unflinching." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 1, 2007

Fresh
4/4

Rotten
51%

The Fountain (2006)

" If one is to be left with something in the end, it is the realization that its creator is fully in love with not just the result of his art, but the very happening of it." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 1, 2007

Rotten
2.5/4

Rotten
15%

Hannibal Rising (2007)

" The material knows it is a prequel, and acknowledges such with tactics that consist of taking viewers from beginning to end in the most straightforward way possible..." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 1, 2007

Rotten

Rotten
6%

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

" Please, even if it means offsetting a planned schedule, do not see this movie. It could be the biggest mistake of your life. I should know: I made it." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Mar 10, 2007

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
7%

The Skulls (2000)

" It’s amazing that so many viewers were still seated by the time the end credits began to roll." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Mar 10, 2007

—

Rotten
9%

I Dreamed of Africa (2000)

Click here to read article — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Mar 10, 2007

Fresh
3.5/4

Rotten
53%

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

" ...the pace is better, the action is not flooding the screen every two seconds, and characters seem more like evolved concepts rather than background distractions." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 14, 2006

Rotten
2.5/4

Fresh
76%

Superman Returns (2006)

" Sidelines the prospect of solid character exploration in favor of a plot so silly and clumsy that even children would find reason to roll their eyes at it." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jun 30, 2006

Rotten
2/4

Rotten
33%

Poseidon (2006)

" Here we get the impression that the only thing on the minds of these filmmakers is how well they can polish up a turd before throwing it at unsuspecting audiences." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jun 30, 2006

Rotten
2/4

Rotten
33%

Tristan & Isolde (2006)

" A movie in which all necessities are captured in two hours of ambitious celluloid, except for one critical anchoring piece: a heart." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jun 29, 2006

Fresh
3.5/4

Fresh
75%

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (2005)

" ...an engaging and visually-stimulating adaptation of the first book of Lewis' immortal seven-part Narnia series." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jun 29, 2006

—

Fresh
69%

Collectors (2000)

Click here to read article — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Oct 15, 2005

Fresh
2.5/4

Fresh
83%

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

" Zany and unsystematic, and so encased by its own bizarre reality that at times you wonder whether you will need a few prescription drugs to get through it." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 15, 2005

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
26%

Fantastic Four (2005)

" An obnoxious movie in which potential adventure is sideswiped in favor of watery characters and dialogue that feels like it was lifted from five or six reality shows." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 15, 2005

Fresh
3/4

Fresh
74%

George A. Romero's Land of the Dead (2005)

" While the film nowhere near matches the success of the director's earlier ventures, it nonetheless rises to the occasion in delivering a bit of social satire." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jul 15, 2005

Fresh
4/4

Fresh
85%

Batman Begins (2005)

" Batman Begins comes rushing off the screen like a long-delayed form of enlightenment, finally realizing the full potential of its center." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jun 18, 2005

Fresh
3/4

Fresh
80%

Cinderella Man (2005)

" To be an audience-grabber at the heart is not always a pointless concept, and here the director and writers prove that the formula still has a few kicks to it." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jun 18, 2005

Fresh
3/4

Fresh
80%

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

" An ideal, convincing finale for this franchise." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted May 19, 2005

Rotten
2/4

Rotten
39%

Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

" All lecture and no humanity." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted May 10, 2005

Rotten
0/4

Rotten
26%

House of Wax (2005)

" Such a vile and despicable heap of trash that I pity any lucid person who will actually pay decent money to sit through it." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted May 6, 2005

Fresh
3/4

Fresh
60%

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

" Once you get past all the impenetrable dialogue exchanges and meandering plot twists, what you have is, at the core, a film with solid vision and heart." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted May 6, 2005

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
24%

The Amityville Horror (2005)

" The remake does absolutely nothing to modify or improve upon its predecessor, which makes it completely pointless." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted May 6, 2005

Fresh
4/4

Fresh
77%

Sin City (2005)

" At long last, here is a film that fully justifies why we still love going to the movie theater." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Mar 30, 2005

Rotten
1.5/4

Rotten
20%

The Ring Two (2005)

" A long, exhausting and pointless 111-minute exercise in red herrings, dead-end justifications and contrived horror situations." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Mar 22, 2005

Fresh
3.5/4

Fresh
64%

Robots (2005)

" ...innocent, charming, colorful and vibrant, and made all the more rich by a narrative plunge that engages audiences of several ages" — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Mar 14, 2005

Rotten
2/4

Rotten
45%

Constantine (2005)

" ...painted in such broad strokes that potentially exciting context becomes little more than incessant hogwash." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Feb 21, 2005

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
13%

Hide and Seek (2005)

" One can practically imagine the blank stares and shaking heads of viewers left in disbelief here." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Feb 12, 2005

Fresh
3/4

Fresh
83%

In Good Company (2004)

" ...creates fully-realized characters that are not just smart and dedicated, but also flawed and likable." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jan 30, 2005

Fresh
3.5/4

Fresh
88%

The Aviator (2004)

" ...a highly stylized and satisfying chronicle of flawed human life" — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jan 15, 2005

Fresh
4/4

Fresh
65%

Stage Beauty (2004)

" ...the kind of picture that comes with challenges but is not afraid to meet them - or indeed, overcome them - head on." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jan 12, 2005

Rotten
1/4

Rotten
9%

White Noise (2005)

" The movie, at least, is spot on in one regard: it respects the long-running tradition of January cinema releases by being both lousy and miscalculated." — Cinemaphile.org

Posted Jan 6, 2005
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Showing 1 - 50 of 587
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