Joan Crawford

Mommie Dearest

Played by Faye Dunaway

If Christina Crawford’s muckraking autobiography Mommie Dearest is to be believed (and some claim it isn’t), her adoptive mother, Hollywood legend Joan, was a monster. We beg to differ. Joan showed admirable concern for the less fortunate by donating Christina’s birthday presents to charity. She instilled discipline in her child by emphasizing cleanliness (and destroying her bathroom when the little brat left some dust lying around). And let’s be honest: Christina just didn’t value all the nice clothes that Joan bought for her. What other reason would she have for dangling her garments on those lousy wire hangers? In addition, Joan obviously felt her children should display some self-reliance, rather than riding the Hollywood gravy train the rest of their lives. Let’s face it: getting disinherited builds character.