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Movies / Upcoming / Lesbian Vampire Killers
Lesbian Vampire Killers

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Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)

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Reviews Counted:20

Fresh:6

Rotten:14

Average Rating:4.2/10

Runtime: 86 mins

Genre: Comedies

US Box Office: $0

Synopsis: Two no-hopers. One cursed village. A bus full of foreign female students and an army of salacious lesbian vampires. It's gonna be one hell of a night! Eternal slacker Jimmy Maclaren and his...

Two no-hopers. One cursed village.

A bus full of foreign female students and an army of salacious lesbian vampires. It's gonna be one hell of a night!

Eternal slacker Jimmy Maclaren and his friend, Fletch, are enjoying a walking holiday on The Moors. Thanks to an unfortunate series of events, they find themselves stuck in a remote cottage with a camper-van full of sexy foreign student girls, besieged by a hungry army of lascivious lesbian vampires. Can they make it till dawn or will the Sapphic soul suckers bleed them dry?

The two friends have been sent to this desolate outpost as human sacrifices by the local townspeople - a group of terrified men, whose women have all been enslaved by a legendary vampire curse placed on their village by Carmilla the Lesbian Vampire Queen. Soon after the curse was cast, Carmilla was executed by 17th Century vampire hunter Baron Wolfgang Maclaren ... who, by coincidence, was Jimmy's great, great grandfather.

Back in the cottage, the army of the undead prove they have a bloodlust when the moon is full, matched only by their lust for the flesh of other women! As the pretty travellers are picked off one-by-one, joining the ranks of the undead, Jimmy and student Lotte are captured by the lesbian vampires who plan to use their blood to resurrect the spirit of Carmilla, their Vampire Queen! It's up to Jimmy's good-for-nothing best friend Fletch, and his newfound ally - a disgruntled local vicar - to save them all before sunrise.

Armed with the sword of long-dead vampire slayer Wolfgang Maclaren, Fletch and the vicar track down their preternatural prey to Carmilla's mansion lair, and a life or death battle ensues. Jimmy and the last remaining girl, Lotte, are saved, the vampires slain and their curse lifted forever! Now all that is left for our heroes to do is rebuild their lives and embrace their newfound destiny.

As The Lesbian Vampire Killers! -- © Official site.

[More]

Starring: James Corden, Mathew Horne

Starring: James Corden, Mathew Horne

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Reviews for Lesbian Vampire Killers

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1 - 20 (sorted by date; Australian critics are listed first)
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It's a 15-year-old boy's idea of a great night at the movies -- sexy ladies in lingerie who get their heads lopped off.

Full Review Source: Sydney Morning Herald | comment Comment
05/21/09
Paul Byrnes
Paul Byrnes
Sydney Morning Herald
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

The misogyny is too insistent to be ironic, despite the relatively small use of nudity and gore. The vampires, when slain, spurt milky white fluid rather than blood, a peculiarly unpleasant, and telling, detail.

Full Review Source: The Age (Australia) | comment Comment
05/21/09
Jake Wilson
Jake Wilson
The Age (Australia)
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

The relentlessly puerile, juvenile humour of Lesbian Vampire Killers makes it something of a guilty pleasure, but a pleasure none the less.

Full Review Source: FILMINK (Australia) | comment Comment
05/20/09
Colin Fraser
Colin Fraser
FILMINK (Australia)
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

The humour is deadbeat British, which jangles fearsomely with the vampire theme. The tone is brashly entertaining, as the filmmakers borrow shamelessly from 50s horror conventions

Full Review Source: Urban Cinefile | comment Comment
05/16/09
Andrew L. Urban
Andrew L. Urban
Urban Cinefile
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

The DVD release of Vampire Killers leaves out the 'Lesbians' from the title. Also missing are funny jokes, thrills and engaging characters.

Full Review Source: What Would Toto Watch? | comment Comment
12/28/09
Christian Toto
Christian Toto
What Would Toto Watch?

the only thing that made it watchable was its mercifully short length

Full Review Source: Draxblog Movie Reviews | comment Comment
12/15/09
Dragan Antulov
Dragan Antulov
Draxblog Movie Reviews

Click to read the article

Full Review Source: Film Threat | comment Comment
10/22/09
Film Threat
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Sure, the whole thing sets gay rights and feminism back 40 years, but Lesbian Vampire Killers doesn't mean to offend. It is, in fact, all rather tongue-in-cheek, very much in the tradition of Sean of the Dead or Lair of the White Worm.

Full Review Source: Screenwize | comment Comment
08/10/09
Cris Kennedy
Cris Kennedy
Screenwize

It may not be smart, but under the right circumstances, it sure can be fun.

Full Review Source: Dread Central | comment Comment
07/15/09
Uncle Creepy
Uncle Creepy
Dread Central

For others just looking for schlocky kicks, this might have a finger-clicking pace and high-gloss finish, but it's no more than a calling card from director Phil Claydon and the script, written by a pair of comedy-sketch writers, is surprisingly dull.

Full Review Source: MovieTime, ABC Radio National | comment Comment
05/22/09
Jason Di Rosso
Jason Di Rosso
MovieTime, ABC Radio National
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Let's get one thing straight. It's not drivel because of its lesbian titillation. It's just drivel. The Beavis and Butthead mentality is just another reason to loathe it, like Page Three of The Sun.

Full Review Source: SFX Magazine | comment Comment
03/27/09
Dave Golder
Dave Golder
SFX Magazine

Click to read the article

Full Review Source: Empire Magazine | comment Comment
03/20/09
Empire Magazine
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Agreeably goofy but surprisingly mild horror-comedy...that's several guffaws short of a laff riot.

Full Review Source: Variety | comment Comment
03/20/09
Joe Leydon
Joe Leydon
Variety
Top Critic Icon Top Critic

Grab your holy water and your wooden stakes, you'll have a good time.

Full Review Source: CinemaBlend.com | comment 2 Comments
03/19/09
Joshua Tyler
Joshua Tyler
CinemaBlend.com

The entire project is a crushingly lazy attempt to create a piece of titillating, exploitative horror-comedy that manages to achieve none of its aims. A mirthless, joyless experience, this is a movie with absolutely nothing going for it.

Full Review Source: IGN Movies UK | comment Comment
03/19/09
Orlando Parfitt
Orlando Parfitt
IGN Movies UK

This British comedy is all Norman and no Wisdom or all Wise and no Morecamble. I have seen Venetian blinds that are funnier.

Full Review Source: Teletext | comment 1 Comment
03/19/09
Victor Olliver
Victor Olliver
Teletext

Badly written, poorly conceived and utterly laugh-free comedy-horror whose idea of wit and invention doesn't extend beyond the nudge nudge, wink wink nature of the title.

Full Review Source: ViewLondon | comment Comment
03/19/09
Matthew Turner
Matthew Turner
ViewLondon

Simply isn't smart or funny enough be a cult classic.

Full Review Source: Shadows on the Wall | comment Comment
03/19/09
Rich Cline
Rich Cline
Shadows on the Wall

An uninspired concoction of overly familiar ingredients, this crude comedy seems aimed at booze-filled lads looking for an undemanding Friday night diversion.

Full Review Source: Screen International | comment Comment
03/16/09
Allan Hunter
Allan Hunter
Screen International

Films rarely come as lowest common denominator as this reductive Hammer parody, where wit is replaced with endless knob jokes, and where there are far more mammaries than memories on offer.

Full Review Source: Eye for Film | comment 2 Comments
03/09/09
Anton Bitel
Anton Bitel
Eye for Film
 
 
1 - 20 (sorted by date; Australian critics are listed first)
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Latest News for Lesbian Vampire Killers

March 22, 2009: Click for trailer and preview Opens in new window
More...

February 25, 2009: Exclusive: Lesbian Vampire Killers - RT on Set
There are a few things that you want to do in life," says James Corden. "Work with Mathew Horne, kiss Harry Potter, and make films about lesbian vampires." His work with Horne... More...

January 22, 2009: New Lesbian Vampire Killers Images Released
The film with the devastatingly brilliant title is back on our radar - this time with three new shots of the James Corden/Matthew Horne starrer. More...

January 10, 2009: Watch: New Official Trailer. Opens in new window
More...

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