How does the Tomatometer work 
Reviews Counted:78
Fresh:43
Rotten:35
Average Rating:5.7/10
Consensus: This gory, senses-assaulting slasher film is an unpretentious, effective mix of old-school horror stylings and modern 3D technology.
Runtime: 2 hrs 10 mins
Genre: Horror/Suspense
US Box Office: $51,527,787
Synopsis: Bloodthirsty fans of the classic slashers of yesteryear should be sated by MY BLOODY VALENTINE (2009), a gory trip that’s not just a remake but a retro-amalgam of the greatest hits from the 1970s,... [More]
Starring: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, Betsey Rue
Director: Patrick Lussier
If you like a bloody laugh and you relish the idea of body parts hurtling at you threatening to shower your popcorn with blood, this might be the film for you. Greeted by more guffaws than screams, My Bloody Valentine wears its heart on its pickaxe
Top CriticThough the script is flat and the acting perhaps intentionally stilted, Lussier's trump card is a distinctive blend of new technology and old-fashioned prosthetic effects.
Top CriticBlending ample serves of gore and nudity with a dash of self-awareness, Lussier skilfully uses the 3D format to simulate the perspectives of both predator and victim...
Top CriticIf you've got a strong stomach, My Bloody Valentine 3D is a definite pleasure...albeit a guilty one, in the perversely stupid tradition of all good gore films.
Top CriticThis 2009 update isn't interested in manufacturing a severe facelift, instead holding tight to the dog-eared slasher playbook, adding the gimmick of 3-D to provide audiences with a front row seat to terror, and, for the most part, atrocious acting.
This lowest-common-denominator remake of/sequel to a minor slasher classic succeeds on purely technical terms but, despite the depth effects, it's a serious snooze.
Ultra-gory slasher remake isn't for kids.
Even by horror movie standards, the characters in My Bloody Valentine 3D rank as among the dopiest folks ever seen on the big screen.
What really leaps out at you about My Bloody Valentine 3-D is its lack of imagination.
Yes, it's stupid, ridiculously gory and you might lose brain cells with each passing second -- but you might have some fun watching!
...a consistently underwhelming horror endeavor that seems to exist for no reason other than to serve the current 3D fad...
Despite a few creative scares, this 3D enhanced horror film never quite delivers on its central gimmick.
My Bloody Valentine may not be horribly acted, but in a post-Scream and post-Scary Movie era, it's difficult to squeeze any more blood from this low-brow/high-camp turnip.
Just drab and disposable rather than offensive, a throwback that's more of a throwaway.
The trouble is that after that first gouged eyeball, there's not a whole lot further to go. Novelty value being a rapidly diminishing thing, the technology demands an escalation in intensity and inventiveness that the movie doesn't deliver.
This one-trick, entirely derivative exercise in old-school slasher tropes doesn't stretch very far.
Valentine is not attempting to appeal to highbrows, but its general lack of ambition in the face of both a potentially exciting new technology and a script that suggests a potential emphasis on characterization is rather dispiriting.
Parental Content Review
Apart from hewing to old-school slasher rules as if they were the Talmud, the braintrusts behind My Bloody Valentine 3-D seem to have concentrated on coming up with things to shake at the audience, from the bloody to the benign, a la SCTV's Dr. Tongue.
The end credits scroll over a single long tracking shot that goes progressively deeper into a coal mine, and the fact that it's creepier and more atmospheric than anything preceding it is a sad statement.
September 08, 2009:
Patrick Lussier in Talks for Halloween 3-D 
Having decided not to partner up with Rob Zombie for the next "Halloween" sequel, Dimension has entered into talks with Patrick Lussier ("My Bloody Valentine 3D"). More...
May 09, 2009:
Exclusive: The Art of Coraline with Henry Selick
Henry Selick, the animation mastermind behind such Certified Fresh classics as The Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach adds another gong to his cabinet with... More...
January 19, 2009:
Box Office Guru Wrapup: Paul Blart Segways Ahead of the Competition
This weekend the North American box office was on fire once again as four new releases all scored muscular debuts helping to drive the marketplace to the biggest January weekend... More...
January 16, 2009:
UK Critics Consensus: The Wrestler Pile-drives The Critics, But Don’t Waste any £s on Seven Pounds
With critical success for Slumdog Millionaire last week (94%), we have more award-friendly fare in the UK cinemas this Friday in Darren Aronofsky's spandex-tastic The Wrestler.... More...
Last week, Moviefone offered us their worst films of the 2000s. Now see their 40 best!
Movieline gets bravely swept away with the recycled refuse of the 2000s.
Get all the latest movie updates, reviews, interviews and features here.
We're giving away a bunch of stuff from the upcoming Squeakquel.
IGN.com |
GameSpy |
Comrade |
Arena |
FilePlanet |
GameSpy Technology
TeamXbox |
Planets |
Vaults |
VE3D |
CheatsCodesGuides |
GameStats |
GamerMetrics
AskMen.com |
Rotten Tomatoes |
Direct2Drive |
Green Pixels
IGN RSS Feeds
1 Comment
