For those of you who haven't heard all of this week's news in Tinseltown romance, here's a quick rundown.

The Break-Ups

First, the sad news..."Simple Life" celebutante Nicole Ritchie has followed in the footsteps of ex-friend and co-star Paris Hilton by breaking her engagement with fiance, DJ-to-the-stars DJ AM (AKA Adam Goldstein). The mutual split is especially tough for Ritchie fans, as the 10-month engagement was the pick to make it all the way to the altar -- if only for a few years.

Also calling it quits this week were actors Christina ("Married...With Children") Applegate and her husband, Johnathan Schaech. After four years of marriage, the twosome seemed to be going in different directions: Applegate is enjoying a Broadway run starring in "Sweet Charity," while Schaech's latest projects have been a couple of straight-to-video sequels -- "8MM 2" and the upcoming "Road House 2: Last Call."

As if we could take any more, tele-film darling Valerie Bertinelli and her rock star husband, Eddie Van Halen, are divorcing after a 25-year marriage and a four-year separation.

And of course, other recent celebreakups that have shattered our faith in Hollywood Romance: Nicollette Sheridan & actor Nicklas Soderblom, Gabrielle Union & ex-NFLer Chris Howard, Kimberly Stewart & "Laguna Beach" kid Talan Torriero, and the greatest loss of all -- "The Newlyweds" themselves, Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson. RIP, guys.

Sadness and tears aside, H'wood's given us some happy news to warm the cockles and renew our recently shattered faith in the world of celeb-DJ, actor-actor, celeb-actor, and celeb-civilian love:

After announcing yesterday that his fiancee, Luciana Bozan, is three months pregnant, Matt Damon topped himself by marrying her today in New York. The "Good Will Hunting" Oscar-winner joins his buddy Ben Affleck in the married-with-children club, the latter having recently wed "Daredevil" flame Jennifer Garner before welcoming baby Violet last week.

Also joining the paternal pool is Damon's "Ocean's Eleven" pal Brad Pitt, who is in the process of becoming the adoptive father to Zahara and Maddox Jolie, tiny tots of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" co-star Angelina Jolie. With this, Pitt cancels out the world of anguish he contributed when his golden marriage to "Friends" favorite Jennifer Aniston fizzled almost a year ago. Aniston, of course, has reportedly moved on to on-screen flame Vince Vaughn, with whom she shot the upcoming, ominously titled "The Break Up."

And finally, more happy tidbits to help you romantics at heart keep the dream alive: Eminem reconciling his historically volatile and audibly documented marriage to wife Kim; new babies for Art Garfunkel, Chris Cornell, and Rod Stewart; and little bundles of joy on the way for Adam "Big Daddy" Sandler, Mariska Hargitay, and Jack White.