Splat 2/4 |
S.W.A.T. (2003) |
"Irony is not dead: 'S.W.A.T,' we are informed during the opening credits, is an 'Original Film.' That's the name of one of the production companies responsible for this regurgitation of the ABC series..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 4/4 |
The Saddest Music in the World (2004) |
"Greil Marcus has described the folk and "race" records of the 1920s and 30s as expressions of "the old, weird America." Guy Maddin seems obsessed with "the old, weird cinema."" |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2.5/4 |
Sahara (2005) |
"In one spit-take-inducing moment, our heroes convert a wrecked prop plane into a desert sailboat, which they race across the sand to the strains of 'Magic Carpet Ride.'" |
John Beifuss |
Splat '1.5/4' |
Saint Ralph (2005) |
"A hooey-slathered film that combines the Catholic school humor of 'Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?' with the rah-rah uplift of an underdog sports story.
" |
John Beifuss |
Splat 1.5/4 |
The Salon (2005) |
"The movie was shot more than three years before its release, and it shows, as when the salon's resident golddigger says: "Anna Nicole Smith -- I aspire to be just like her."" |
John Beifuss |
Tomato |
Santo y Blue Demon Contra Dracula y Hombre Lobo (1973) |
"Masked professional wrestlers... classic movie monsters... the combination is irresistibly loopy..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato '3/4' |
Saraband (2005) |
"Most films are so insipid that there's something perversely refreshing about a movie in which a monstrous father compliments his son for his 'healthy dose of hatred...'
" |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
The Savages (2007) |
"Hoffman and Linney make a great comedy team, even though the movie they're in is a sometimes grim affair..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Saved! (2004) |
"Could become a true cult film, if it can reach a sympathetic audience of progressive Christians and their allies." |
John Beifuss |
Splat '2/4' |
Saving Face (2005) |
"Lesbian Chinese-Americans deserve sitcom fantasies of idealized romantic reassurance as much as anyone, I suppose..." |
John Beifuss |
Splat '2/4' |
Saw II (2005) |
"Veni vidi vomit. That's Latin for: I came, I saw, I saw 'Saw II.'
" |
John Beifuss |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Saw III (2006) |
"Pretentious, with Jigsaw a splatter Mitch Albom." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
Saw IV (2007) |
"Opens with the clinically graphic dissection of the deceased Jigsaw, who finally lives up to (dies down to?) his name by being separated into pieces..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Saw V (2008) |
"A cut above its pretentious predecessors; the graphic set-pieces -- including an opening inspired by Poe's 'The Pit and the Pendulum' -- deliver the gory goods." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Saw VI (2009) |
"Would make a good co-feature with Michael Moore's 'Sicko,' as self-righteous maniac Jigsaw -- apparently a fan of the public option -- plays his bloody, lethal 'games' with health insurance professionals who deny coverage to the needy." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
Scary Movie 3 (2003) |
"At barely 80 minutes, it's just as long as it needs to be, and almost as funny." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
Scary Movie 4 (2006) |
"The humor is mostly flat and obvious, but Anna Faris' ability to maintain a straight face as well as her dignity under the most demeaning of circumstances continues to impress." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2.5/4 |
School for Scoundrels (2006) |
"Eventually, implausible plot mechanics replace winning character comedy..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
School of Rock (2003) |
"Linklater proves you can make a hit movie without being a sell-out." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
Schultze Gets the Blues (2005) |
"The geriatric, Teutonic equivalent of a Jim Jarmusch film." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
The Science of Sleep (2006) |
"Visually, the movie is childlike -- ornamented with the oddments that a little girl might keep in a box under her bed and decorated with the fancies that a boy might draw in the margins of a school book." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2.5/4 |
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) |
"By living up to its subtitle, it's at least a vast improvement over its noxious predecessor..." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
Scoop (2006) |
"I kept imagining an alternate-universe rewrite, with a young Bob Hope and maybe Paulette Goddard in the leads, and a 1940s journeyman in the director's chair -- the kind of guy who could crank out 30 minutes of snappy comedy-mystery before happy hour." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2.5/4 |
The Sea Inside (2004) |
"Built around Bardem's immobile presence, the film can't help but seem stolidly monumental even as it explores issues that are heart-wrenchingly personal." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
Secondhand Lions (2003) |
"'Corn, corn, nothin' but corn,' Duvall complains as he looks at his crops; unsympathetic viewers will feel they can relate..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
The Secret Life of Bees (2008) |
"It will be embraced by those moviegoers who find solace in its redemptive themes" |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
The Secret Lives of Dentists (2003) |
"The film hits nerves." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
Seducing Dr. Lewis (2004) |
"French-speaking Canada's attempt to manufacture a whimsical international crowd-pleaser in the manner of such feature-length Britcoms as 'The Full Monty.'" |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
See No Evil (2006) |
"So undeniably nightmarish it achieves its own ugly integrity..." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
Semi-Pro (2008) |
"Ferrell's character comedies spoof NASCAR, figure-skating and so on; but these films also reveal a sincere, envious love and fascination for the cultures and skills they mimic. These are wish-fulfillment movies..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato '3/4' |
Serenity (2005) |
"Demonstrates that the best pop storytellers if not the best 'artists' in filmed entertainment these days are working in television." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2.5/4 |
A Serious Man (2009) |
"Takes the concept of the self-loathing Jew to an arguably loathsome new level..." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 1/4 |
Seven Pounds (2008) |
"Put your faith in Will Smith and by his sacrifice ye will be reborn." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
Severance (2007) |
"Like a special episode of 'The Office,' scripted by Clive Barker." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
Sex Drive (2008) |
"Director Sean Anders returns raunchy teen comedy to the no-expectations pre-Apatow era." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
The Shaggy Dog (2006) |
"The doggie antics generate a few chuckles, but it's a sign of the film's inefficiency that the biggest laugh comes from a sight gag involving a chimp and a cattle prod.
" |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
Shark Tale (2004) |
"Opportunistic, utterly calculated, marred by the cartoon minstrelsy of the Will Smith fish, and aggressively 'hip' in the forced manner of a breakfast cereal commercial..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
Shattered Glass (2003) |
"At one point, the Glass character defines journalism as 'the art of capturing behavior,' and that's also where this movie excels..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Shaun of the Dead (2004) |
"Shows not only respect for the zombie genre but respect for the audience..." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
She Hate Me (2004) |
"Allusions to Frank Wills, the security guard who discovered the Watergate break-in, suggest a story that would have made a much better Spike Lee movie than this misfire..." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2.5/4 |
Shine a Light (2008) |
"More vanity project than essential document of the World's Greatest Rock and Roll Band in what we can presume to be the twilight of its godhood." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
Shooter (2007) |
"A less musclebound 'Rambo' reimagined for the politically disgusted era of Dubya..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
Shorts (2009) |
"A fun trifle -- essentially, a homemade 'Little Rascals' update in which youngsters with a 'wishing rock' wreak accidental havoc (and create upright crocodiles, a giant dung beetle, a 'big bad booger' monster and an intellectual telepathic baby)." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2.5/4 |
Shrek 2 (2004) |
"Clearly, it's a problem when a movie's least interesting characters are its title hero and his signficant ogre..." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 2/4 |
Shrek the Third (2007) |
"Tackiest movie moment of the year: The dead serious use of Paul McCartney's 'Live and Let Die' during the funeral of the Frog King" |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
Shut Up & Sing (2006) |
"A testimonial to the viability and efficiency of the American marketplace of ideas, where Toby Keith, Natalie Maines, Bill O'Reilly and millions of other voices are free to annoy, heckle, praise, please and sing..." |
John Beifuss |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Shutter (2008) |
"As pretty and bland as its lead actors." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3/4 |
Sicko (2007) |
"Like 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' 'Sicko' is about a nation's moral obligation..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Sideways (2004) |
"Pot-bellied, squat and hairy-backed, Paul Giamatti is nobody's idea of a conventional screen idol, yet he may be the most watchable leading man in movies today..." |
John Beifuss |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Silent Hill (2006) |
"Suggests the surreal, almost post-narrative horror movies of Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci and other directors who favor the emotional impact of bold, grotesque imagery over story logic." |
John Beifuss |
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