Tomato 3/4 |
2012 (2009) |
"As with "Independence Day," "2012" is what comes of hiring legitimate actors to hawk hokum. And "2012" certainly is all cheese on wry, but it's smart within its means as a palpable, if popcorn, lesson about parental and personal responsibility." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Adventureland (2009) |
"Deserving of Citizen Kane status in its insight, emotional depth, and yes, entertainment." |
Rob Humanick |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
An Education (2009) |
"Here, you see a family collectively come to appreciate the strength of a heart scarred over and the blossoming of a woman (and actress Carey Mulligan) who learns that pie-in-the-sky predictions for a future can sock even the most sensible among us." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
Anvil! The Story of Anvil (2009) |
"Let's be honest: Anvil is not metal's missing link, and "Anvil!" has been awfully overpraised. However, it's worth watching for the frequent moments of warm, humane heavy-metal comedy and the antagonistic push-and-pull of Canadian creative cousins." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
The Blind Side (2009) |
"Subtlety is horse-collared in John Lee Hancock's disappointingly Lifetime-ish sports film. It lacks the subtlety or nuance of his "The Rookie" and is borderline offensive in spots, but Sandra Bullock easily delivers her career's best performance." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Bruno (2009) |
"What "Bruno" may lack in setup innovation, character conviction or "Borat's" inherent sweetness, it makes up for by pushing things beyond points of comfort or, in some cases, personal safety. Successfully uproarious in slaying social stratification." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
Capitalism: A Love Story (2009) |
"Serving as an apogee of Michael Moore's decade-long thesis, "Capitalism" feels like it adds up to a sum greater than this part. If Moore's next decade is as fruitful as his last, America is doomed, but it's odd to see a lack of healthy skepticism." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Crank High Voltage (2009) |
"Waking up in the aftermath of a meth-lab explosion might be less disorienting than watching this. And if you think there's no room for more, Neveldine/Taylor are probably a weekend and a bag of crack-filled Pixie Stix away from proving you wrong." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Crank High Voltage (2009) |
"Both exhilarating and exhausting, it falls just short of a fever pitch." |
Rob Humanick |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Drag Me To Hell (2009) |
"Gleefully goosing the juice on this ride, Sam Raimi delivers his best film in more than a decade. The brothers Grimm would take pride in this cautionary fable flooded with formaldehyde, flies and more funky-denture action than seemingly possible." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Extract (2009) |
"A perfect title - all the essence and flavor of Mike Judge with very little of his substance. There's no trademark satirical vigor or vitriol - just a handful of good performances and inspired scenarios wasted on a treacly, halfhearted narrative." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Fast & Furious (2009) |
"One of the film's biggest laughs is showing title credits. Clearly, after a prologue in which thieves play chicken with a burning, tumbling oil tanker, the possibility exists this is a Steven Soderbergh experimental gamble. Dumb, fun & entertaining." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 1/4 |
G-Force (2009) |
"Disney [hates you and] wants your money." |
Rob Humanick |
Tomato 3/4 |
Gamer (2009) |
"Were Stanley Kubrick and Russ Meyer alive and their minds merged "Being John Malkovich"-style, the clash of their ids and egos might yield "Gamer." It will make you feel putrid, but it's satire that's sadistic, salacious and audaciously entertaining." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
Goodbye Solo (2009) |
"Fine performances all around act like vital organs within the body of Bahrani's resonant chamber piece." |
Rob Humanick |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
The Hangover (2009) |
"Just as a marriage is built on love and promises kept, so can a bromance. "The Hangover" honors and cherishes that idea in slickness and stealth, and will have audiences unsure of how to say Zach Galifianakis but certain he's a star." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) |
"Radcliffe, Grint and Watson are great as always, but director David Yates' adherence to realism stifles J.K. Rowling's trickster-storytelling wiles. Yates' horrifically bad botching of big-ticket moments bodes poorly for the "Deathly Hallows" films." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) |
"After about the 35th boo scare in as many minutes, the unfailingly cheesy "The Haunting in Connecticut" joins a growing legion of 2009 films offering self-reflective commentary on their own crappiness: "We're bored," shouts a baby brother." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
I Love You, Man (2009) |
"This full-court press on the bromantic comedy idea works because the rock's been put in the hands of the perfectly paired Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. Thanks to friend chemistry better than most movies' lovers, the film never lets up on tenacious glee." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 4/4 |
The Informant! (2009) |
"Soderbergh knocks one out again. Jazzy, subtle and fearlessly funny, it's a towering film packed with tall tales that isn't entirely capricious. Matt Damon is wonderfully schlubby in this corporate spin on "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty."" |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 4/4 |
Inglourious Basterds (2009) |
"Hitler is introduced in a cape like a comic-book villain, so moral relativism clearly isn't part of the plan. With its intentionally brash rewriting of history, Inglourious Basterds is what Quentin Tarantino's back-half of Grindhouse should've been." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
The Invention of Lying (2009) |
""The Invention of Lying" is like "Groundhog Day," although not in the way it intends to be. Watching the film feels like you're reliving the same lame scenes over and over, powerless to change what happens in this profoundly disappointing comedy." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
It Might Get Loud (2009) |
"Academically picking apart artistic processes tends to pull all passion out of the pursuit. However, "Loud" evenhandedly showcases three musicians striving and struggling as much to expand a signature sound as they did when it was initially inked." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat .5/4 |
Knowing (2009) |
"An anticlimactic, idiotic leap into low-end Shyamalan-ian insanity with a touch of moderate fundamentalism. Nicolas Cage's performance is deserving of another YouTube ode to awfulness, and only disaster scenes elevate it above straight-to-DVD status." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Land of the Lost (2009) |
"Better than "Bewitched," if only for its straightforwardness. Then again, even Nora Ephron didn't turn Will Ferrell into a colonoscopic agent for a dinosaur. Depending on if you like him, that may be a comic equivalent to the Berlin Wall's collapse." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat .5/4 |
Law Abiding Citizen (2009) |
"F. Gary Gray draws up some nifty car explosions, but he delivered a more exciting, thoughtful and better-acted system-challenging movie 11 years ago with "The Negotiator." This is immeasurably dumb sludge masquerading as rage against the machine." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
Management (2009) |
"A completely uproarious one-liner about Joe Strummer is still no reason to watch "Management." Had it stuck with insights on loners inadvertently backing themselves into emotional corners, rather than going for wackiness, it might have worked." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009) |
"There's a lament for perverting the purity of essence in enlightenment to military-complex exploitation. Like the film's test goats, it's been de-bleated and, given the pithy talk of Jedi warriors, this is not the political satire you're looking for." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
Miss March (2009) |
"At its best, this lewder, cruder spin on last year's "Sex Drive" has a disarmingly daffy shaggy-dog touch a la "Half-Baked" or "The Brothers Solomon." But by the time a woman enjoys champagne spiked with dog urine, "Miss March" is all turn-offs." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
Monsters vs. Aliens (2009) |
"Inked more by its influences than originality, "Monsters" gets exhaustive with its rapid-fire references. That said, if this works as a shiny primer to one day introduce children to classic sci-fi, satire, fantasy and anime, well, more power to it." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
Moon (2009) |
"Sam Rockwell's work is a light on the dark side of "Moon." It's not that the man behind the curtain isn't worth attention, it's that he's just not as interesting. It's predictably plotted, but unpredictably mournful and elegiac a la Philip K. Dick." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
Orphan (2009) |
"David Johnson's script plays fair with red herrings before a devilish denouement with all the torque of a good twist. Esther doesn't just want to topple the Colemans' house of cards. She wants to torch it, and "Orphan" is gruesome, gripping material." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
Outlander (2009) |
"A mead hall party feels like a Iron Age version of "Cheers," right down to the "Norm!" greeting for one character. It's one of many leaden diversions from what should be a lean, economical, brutal B-movie of aliens, Vikings and alternate timelines." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2.5/4 |
Pandorum (2009) |
"Not without its scuzzy charms and eye-catching creature attacks, "Pandorum" generates all the stylish muster it can. Still, it feels like a Christopher Lambert film that would have gone straight to VHS about 15 years ago." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
Paranormal Activity (2009) |
"Good horror films command a surplus of attention. They don't cater to its deficit. Depressingly overused sensory cues clue the audience into whenever something spooky's happening, as if saying it's time to stop Tweeting or texting. An overhyped bust." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Public Enemies (2009) |
"It's no "Heat." For skirting the lawman's story, call it "Warmth." Still, it bulks up, with Midwestern muscle, from a violent version of "The Aviator" into Mann's "Gangs of New York" - unwieldy and imperfect, but compelling, exciting and thoughtful." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 1/4 |
Push (2009) |
"Light fixtures are the true stars in "Push," constantly reflecting, twinkling and popping. Its best moments are when guns levitate and fire themselves. When you don't even need actors to hold pistols, it's the ultimate in autopilot filmmaking." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 4/4 |
A Serious Man (2009) |
"Yet another masterpiece from the Coen Brothers. Something like an existential Alfred Hitchcock movie crossed with Jewish spirituality, a touch of mysticism and the Coens' insistence that the rates of mortality and morality are rigidly intertwined." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
The Soloist (2009) |
""The Soloist" is not a film in which you anticipate Robert Downey Jr. will be twice doused in urine. Such are the territorial markings of Joe Wright, whose directorial quirks undermine moving moments and committed performances in this musical biopic." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
Sunshine Cleaning (2009) |
"Megan Holley's script feels like it's been Sundance-workshopped to death. However, the cast - led by Amy Adams, Emily Blunt and Alan Arkin - establishes a vibrantly odd family bond that sustains "Sunshine Cleaning" through its dimmer portions." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
Sunshine Cleaning (2009) |
"Not entirely insubstantial, even as the bulk evaporates from the mind." |
Rob Humanick |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Surrogates (2009) |
"An efficient, engaging B-movie parable that grapples with technology, civil liberties, terrorism, freewill and religious subtext all in 89 minutes. It's also a true rarity: A good movie in which usually bald Bruce Willis sports a full head of hair." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 (2009) |
"The interminable final act of Tony Scott's heretofore modestly entertaining thriller turns the modulated cool of a Michael Mann film into a brash, loud Viagra ad. This is the great disappointment of the summer so far." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3/4 |
Terminator Salvation (2009) |
"McG's tone is "Apocalypse Now" by way of Philip K. Dick, and the film packs a war-movie wallop to go with its sleek blockbuster sensibilities. Tough, fast and exhilarating, it's a worthy addition to the franchise even if Christian Bale is not." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 2/4 |
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) |
""Beginning! Middle! End! Condense! Details! Plot!," yells John Turturro's G-man at a robot somewhere in the middle of the morass "Revenge of the Fallen" becomes. Forget "More than meets the eye." Michael Bay should have more so heeded that cry." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Trick 'r Treat (2009) |
"Just as it would be alongside a fire, the spooky power of the myths and legends being spun is all in the style of the storyteller. This delivers the nasty goods with fluid grace and demented glee and is bound to become Halloween appointment viewing." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 4/4 |
Where the Wild Things Are (2009) |
"The film encourages embracing all that we are, but it's not presumptuous to suggest what "it" is, as it differs for every child. Profoundly thoughtful, unexpectedly moving, adventurous in spirit and unforgettable, it's one of the best films of 2009." |
Nick Rogers |
Tomato 4/4 |
Whip It (2009) |
"A moving meditation on the importance of seizing the now early, whatever that might be. Twee and tough, the film elbows aside sports-movie clichés with thoughtful intelligence, emphasis on self-reliance and all-too-rare portrayals of strong women." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat 1/4 |
Whiteout (2009) |
"It takes slightly longer than three minutes for diminished mental capacity to set in during this Antarctic murder mystery with a fatally low body temperature. Kate Beckinsale is unrepentantly lazy, dialogue is awful and its misdirection is obvious." |
Nick Rogers |
Splat .5/4 |
Year One (2009) |
"Producer Judd Apatow has gone from comedy gourmand to McDonald-izing in four years. And when in doubt, director Harold Ramis makes Jack Black eat his own feces and Michael Cera pee in his own mouth. Yes, this is at the level of YouTube monkey comedy." |
Nick Rogers |
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