Tomato 4/4 |
HairKutt (2007) |
"Have you ever watched a heroin addict trying to kick the habit? Would you like to?" |
Kam Williams |
Splat 1/4 |
Hairspray (2007) |
"A safe, self-congratulatory fantasy which revisits the civil rights era not for a valuable history lesson but for an escapist, syrupy sweet, sing-a-long trip down memory lane to an unrecognizable, Hollywood utopia that never existed." |
Kam Williams |
Tomato |
Hairspray (2007) |
"Travolta as bosomy mom Edna in perky fat suit, with flab-infatuated spouse Walken never far behind, pretty much steals the show from everybody else as he impressively shakes his bountiful booty across the dance floor." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Hairspray (2007) |
"Travolta as bosomy mom Edna in perky fat suit, with flab-infatuated spouse Walken never far behind, pretty much steals the show from everybody else as he impressively shakes his bountiful booty across the dance floor." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Halloween (2007) |
"Rob Zombie Uncut: Heavy metal rocker turned gore guru Devil's Reject Zombie, newly dissects those ferocious inner demons of Michael Myers. Does he triumph over the competition? Yes and no." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Hamlet 2 (2008) |
"Can a frustrated actor pen a Hamlet sequel reviving dead characters via a time machine with Jesus, Einstein and Hillary Clinton? If this daring, irreverent social satire has its say, those lunatic possibilities may prove just that on screen." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Hamlet 2 (2008) |
"Can a frustrated actor pen a Hamlet sequel reviving dead characters via a time machine with Jesus, Einstein and Hillary Clinton? If this daring, irreverent social satire has its say, those lunatic possibilities may prove just that." |
Prairie Miller |
Splat 1/4 |
Hancock (2008) |
"Will Smith as an unlikable alcoholic superhero in need of Alcoholics Anonymous, anger management and a new image." |
Kam Williams |
- |
Hancock (2008) |
"For better or worse, Will Smith is a name long associated with July 4th blockbusters. Unfortunately, Hancock is more on the order of Wild Wild West, than Independence Day or Men in Black." |
Kam Williams |
Tomato |
Hancock (2008) |
"A superhero movie with soul, a magically endowed boozer, and quirky chemistry fueled between those two dramatic heavyweights, Will Smith and Charlize Theron, who go at it like Hillary and Obama duking it out at a presidential primary." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Hancock (2008) |
"A superhero movie with soul, a magically endowed boozer, and quirky chemistry fueled between those two dramatic heavyweights, Will Smith and Charlize Theron, who go at it like Hillary and Obama duking it out at a presidential primary." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato 2/4 |
The Hangover (2009) |
"A picture which periodically pushes the envelope further than the average moviegoer is probably capable of stomaching via ill-advised departures into such taboo subjects as child molestation, all in search of a cheap joke." |
Kam Williams |
Splat |
The Hangover (2009) |
"A geek bonding guy movie just as easily titled, I Love You, Men, this in-your-face grossout about grown males in pursuit of living out their wannabe vice junkie daydreams badly, detours into beyond crude humor more often sour than sweet." |
Prairie Miller |
Splat |
The Hangover (2009) |
"A geek bonding guy movie just as easily titled, I Love You, Men, this in-your-face grossout about grown males in pursuit of living out their wannabe vice junkie daydreams badly, detours into beyond crude humor more often sour than sweet." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato 3/4 |
Hannah Montana The Movie (2009) |
"A tweener-mesmerizing mix of music-induced mass hysteria coupled with some homespun cordiality courtesy of a colorful collection of harmless hicks." |
Kam Williams |
Tomato |
Hannah Montana The Movie (2009) |
"Combo hick flick musical, big screen image cleanup community service stint and worst of both worlds hide and seek story, while chasing down that playing hard to get ho hum Marlboro boy next door." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Hannah Montana The Movie (2009) |
"Combo hick flick musical, big screen image cleanup community service stint and worst of both worlds hide and seek story, while chasing down that playing hard to get ho hum Marlboro boy next door." |
Prairie Miller |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Hannibal Rising (2007) |
"More of a vigilante adventure than a true slasher flick which recasts Hannibal the Cannibal as an admirable Nazi hunter." |
Kam Williams |
Splat 1/4 |
The Happening (2008) |
"What's more annoying than when a mediocre movie constantly males allusions to much better pictures? I know, it's when you wait an hour and a half for a solution this pathetic." |
Kam Williams |
Splat |
The Happening (2008) |
"A numbing polemical morality tale in dreary doomsday thriller clothing, this dull downer for all its mass panic attack high alert mode, may be more effective in unintentionally boring people to death." |
Prairie Miller |
- |
Happy Here and Now (2002) |
"Gloria Reuben on Raising the Bar" |
Kam Williams |
Tomato 4/4 |
Happy-Go-Lucky (2008) |
"England's addlepated answer to Amelie!" |
Kam Williams |
Tomato |
Harold (2008) |
"Abigail's older brother Spencer Breslin, does his own magnificent Little Mister Sunshine leading boy thing. Harold, a kinder, gentler Superbad minus the talking dirty teen motormouths. Move over, Judd Apatow." |
Prairie Miller |
Splat 1/4 |
Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008) |
"A crass, classic, take-the-money-and-run ripoff which squanders a golden opportunity to make a statement about racial profiling, the Patriot Act and the Geneva Conventions in favor of serving up a mindless teensploit laced with shockingly-graphic images." |
Kam Williams |
- |
Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008) |
"Harold And Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay: The Kal Penn Interview" |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008) |
"A prison sex slave rebellion having to do with an organ sandwich, don't ask, and a detour over to Bush's secret sex den, make this ballsy doper duo and their Blue State versus Red State rant hard to resist." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008) |
"A prison sex slave rebellion having to do with an organ sandwich, don't ask, and a detour over to Bush's secret sex den, make this ballsy doper duo and their Blue State versus Red State rant hard to resist." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato 4/4 |
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) |
"Potter hits puberty!" |
Kam Williams |
- |
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) |
"Potter hits puberty!" |
Kam Williams |
- |
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) |
"Vagabonding through time, Potter joins up again with his telepathic posse in this coming of agelessness new adventure, while dark forces penetrate the premises and the students experiment with various vials of wishful thinking pharmaceuticals." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) |
"Vagabonding through time, Potter joins up again with his telepathic posse in this coming of agelessness new adventure, while dark forces penetrate the premises and the students experiment with various vials of wishful thinking pharmaceuticals." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) |
"Vagabonding through time, Potter joins up again with his telepathic posse in this coming of agelessness new adventure, while dark forces penetrate the premises and the students experiment with various vials of wishful thinking pharmaceuticals." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) |
"A possibly more Dirty Harry dark side, Potter's steamy makeout session that threatens to shapeshift into an R rating, DVD clues in all the movies about The Mystery Of Harry's True Destiny, and black magic reimagined as truly shocking pink." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) |
"Possibly more Dirty Harry than the usual beloved kid bestseller bespectacled wonder wizard, as a dark side kicks in and Harry's soul is on the line." |
Prairie Miller |
- |
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) |
"A possibly more Dirty Harry dark side, Potter's steamy makeout session that threatens to shapeshift into an R rating, DVD clues in all the movies about The Mystery Of Harry's True Destiny, and black magic reimagined as truly shocking pink." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato 2/4 |
Harsh Times (2006) |
"A movie which merely manages to create an edgy, ominous atmosphere, but fails to provide much in the way of bloodletting until the shocking denouement during which the messy resolution comes off as a bit of an afterthought." |
Kam Williams |
Tomato |
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) |
"Factor in eyelid fetishism, occult barfing at seances on rewind, undead wilding, attempted murder by shower curtain, cadaver liberation, and some nifty house-orcism, and you've got a collection of fairly reliable elements for an unnerving horror thriller." |
Prairie Miller |
- |
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) |
"Factor in eyelid fetishism, occult barfing at seances on rewind, undead wilding, attempted murder by shower curtain, cadaver liberation, and some nifty house-orcism, and you've got a collection of fairly reliable elements for an unnerving horror thriller." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) |
"Factor in eyelid fetishism, occult barfing at seances on rewind, undead wilding, attempted murder by shower curtain, cadaver liberation, and some nifty house-orcism, and you've got a collection of fairly reliable elements for an unnerving horror thriller." |
Prairie Miller |
Splat 1/4 |
He's Just Not That Into You (2009) |
"Sorry, I'm just not that into The Love Boat." |
Kam Williams |
Tomato |
He's Just Not That Into You (2009) |
"A how-to happy ending training manual for aspiring female objects of desire, while movies about men have to do with the really big challenges they face, like beating up alien invaders or saving the planet. Doormat duty alert: She's Just Not That Onto You." |
Prairie Miller |
- |
He's Just Not That Into You (2009) |
"A how-to happy ending training manual for aspiring female objects of desire, while movies about men have to do with the really big challenges they face, like beating up alien invaders or saving the planet. Doormat duty alert: She's Just Not That Onto You." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
He's Just Not That Into You (2009) |
"A how-to happy ending training manual for aspiring female objects of desire, while movies about men have to do with the really big challenges they face, like beating up alien invaders or saving the planet. Doormat duty alert: She's Just Not That Onto You." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato 4/4 |
Heading South (2006) |
"This fascinating flick, using physical desire as a metaphor, examines political problems plaguing Haiti in the Seventies while simultaneously exploring pleasure purely from an older woman's point-of-view." |
Kam Williams |
Tomato |
Health in America, Gary Null |
"Gary Null Interview: Look at Vyox. Nobody has ever been held accountable, as long as you've got a corporate title in front of you. Let's face it. Only in America could you kill a hundred thousand people, and get a raise!" |
Prairie Miller |
- |
Heartbeat Detector (2008) |
"A cinematic flatliner that was dead on arrival." |
Kam Williams |
Splat 1/4 |
Heartbeat Detector (2008) |
"A cinematic flatliner that was dead on arrival." |
Kam Williams |
Splat .5/4 |
The Heartbreak Kid (2007) |
"An unwatchable mess like this is exactly what you ought to expect from anybody with the unmitigated gall to overhaul Neil Simon." |
Kam Williams |
Tomato |
Hell's Gate 11:11 (2005) |
"This low budget, high quality crime thriller displays a back-to-basics emphasis on engaging storytelling, as opposed to the elaborate special effects hollow shell of most attention deficit disorder blockbuster moviemaking today." |
Prairie Miller |
Tomato |
Hell's Gate 11:11 (2005) |
"This low budget, high quality crime thriller displays a back-to-basics emphasis on engaging storytelling, as opposed to the elaborate special effects hollow shell of most attention deficit disorder blockbuster moviemaking today" |
Prairie Miller |
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