Splat 2/4 |
300 (2007) |
"Hey,I only called it a Hitler recruitment video, fellas." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (2008) |
"Excruciating, ugly and very, very foreign. Sounds like the ideal candidate for the Palme D'Or." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
American Gangster (2007) |
"Say hello to my leetle M.B.A! It's the black Scarface. But American Gangster is an economic education with as many bullet points as bullets." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Appaloosa (2008) |
"When you're lookin for an Olde Time, pistol-wieldin', rootin', tootin' varmint, hire somebody other than Jeremy Irons. What is this--Bonanza Revisited?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Atonement (2007) |
"Belongs to the realm of theater--"Masterpiece Theater." A misdirected-letter movie? Really? In 2007?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Beowulf (2007) |
"Gather round the fire, for I will tell you a tale unlike any other. OK, it's like The Lord of the Rings retold with plastic dolls and a lot of wench jokes." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Body of Lies (2008) |
"Gets across a palpable sense of Iraq fatigue. Which is another way of saying it invites the audience to see the talking-Chihuahua picture instead." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Bolt (2008) |
"Essential to the proceedings is a fired-up hamster who believes the dog is the superhero he plays on 'the magic box' and is itching to help him: 'Ring, ring! Who is it? Destiny? I've been expecting your call.'" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) |
"Another potent PowerBar of a movie, all protein and no fat. I sat there transfixed and chuckling with joy as Greengrass let. Her. Rip." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Changeling (2008) |
"Could have been made in 1938 with Bette Davis." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Charlie Wilson's War (2007) |
"Call it Afghanishtar. So strange that Democrats are shown killing Commies--not calling for sanctions against them or filing motions in the U.N." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Cloverfield (2008) |
"A combination of unpleasantness and stupidity that would be difficult to match, unless you were stuck in bed with the shingles while being forced to watch The Ghost Whisperer." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Crank High Voltage (2009) |
"See this f%$&*ing movie, mate." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 4/4 |
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) |
"A new American classic." |
Kyle Smith |
- |
The Dark Knight (2008) |
"A conservative movie that lives on a razor edge of tradeoffs. Extremism in the defense of liberty is Batman's virtue." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Definitely, Maybe (2008) |
"This movie sparkles like diamonds." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Evan Almighty (2007) |
"And God looked out onto the teeming plains and and He saw that there were many suckers who dwelt upon the land who did lust to spend their shekels upon bird-poop jokes." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
The Express (2008) |
"Just about good enough to be the 40th best episode of Friday Night Lights. Which has aired 39 episodes." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 0.5/4 |
Fool's Gold (2008) |
"Ought to come with a warning sign posted in the lobby: no shirt, no shoes, no laughs." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) |
"Writing and starring in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Jason Segel gets emotionally naked. He bares his soul. Also, he lets us see his schlong. As Steve Martin said, comedy is not pretty." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Frost/Nixon (2008) |
"A better title might have been, 'I interviewed an ex-president for 29 hours and all I got was two lousy sound bites.' Still, an incisive character study." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Funny Games (2008) |
"Rivals and probably tops the Ellen Page internet-predator film Hard Candy in disgusting, vile, vicious, incandescently brutal wickedness. So why did I love this evil film?" |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1/4 |
Get Smart (2008) |
"The Aughties equivalent of the Dan Aykroyd/Tom Hanks stab at Dragnet." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Ghost Town (2008) |
"Ricky Gervais is lethally funny talking to dead people in his big-screen debut as a leading man." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Gone Baby Gone (2007) |
"A bitterly sublime neo-noir: It's Beantown, Jake. Affleck has made us breathe the rot his characters were born to die in." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Grace is Gone (2007) |
"This is John Cusack. John is an Actor. Be catatonic, John. Good. Now be confused. Sad. Angry. Heartbroken. Fine. Now can we go home?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 4/4 |
Hairspray (2007) |
"Fellas, there are going to be a lot of little hotties at this movie. Here is an ideal place to catch them off-duty, their hair up in scrunchies. No, it won't turn you gay." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Hancock (2008) |
"His symbol is the eagle. He beats up on little Frenchmen. He is 'the only one of my kind,' the world's lone and lonely superpower. Hancock is a clever metaphor for America in the world." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008) |
"There's a reason why Foreign Affairs has never done a theme issue about "Dude, Where's My Car?"" |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1/4 |
He's Just Not That Into You (2009) |
"Seven smiles on the poster of a movie about rejection? Why not make an airy romantic comedy called You've Got Melanoma?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
In Bruges (2008) |
"A cold little jolt of cruelty, which is more than most crime thrillers can offer." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
In the Valley of Elah (2007) |
"Will forever be known as the upside-down American flag movie. But showing the flag this way is heavy stuff that is supported by the movie the way a bowling ball is supported by a dandelion." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
The Incredible Hulk (2008) |
"Iron Man is easily superior to The Incredible Hulk. Tony Stark's wit, his flair, the way everything comes easily to him and he makes the ladies purr, are all the opposite of what Bruce Banner brings to the party." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) |
"Packed with fights and chases--but then so were the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. The worst Steven Spielberg popcorn flick since 1941." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
The International (2009) |
"The whole point of a nefarious institution is that it doesn't have to get its hands dirty. Who needs assassins when you have lobbyists?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 4/4 |
Into the Wild (2007) |
"I was exhilarated--and devastated." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1.5/4 |
The Invasion (2007) |
"When I heard the movie involved frozen facial expressions, Nicole Kidman and barfing, I assumed it was a documentary about Kidman's Oscar week routine." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Iron Man (2008) |
"Visual sizzle, top actors and a witty script, yet it could have been so much better if only it didn't try to cobble together a pacifist warrior." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 4/4 |
Irreconcilable Differences (1984) |
"There is a marvelous balance in that we have an equal rooting interest in each of the main characters. It isn't a mere satire." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008) |
"Aggressively bland, a display of X-treme mildness, a cinematic saltine." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 0.5/4 |
Jumper (2008) |
"A movie about wormholes made from a script riddled with more holes than Hillary Clinton's campaign strategy." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2.5/4 |
Juno (2007) |
"Being the hipster movie of the year presents a couple of problems. One is that hipsters are kind of annoying." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
The Kingdom (2007) |
"The Kingdom is the anti-Syriana: yes, it says, the Middle East is very, very complicated, but Americans have solved tougher problems, thanks very much." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
La Vie En Rose (2007) |
"Pursued, caught and devoured by the past, [Piaf] nearly shouts the lyric, "Je me fous du passé!": I don't give a damn about the past." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Leatherheads (2008) |
"Like going to a football game and watching the players bring desks and paperwork onto the field. How boring is this movie? I've been more entertained by halftime shows." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Mamma Mia! (2008) |
"Terrible jokes in a movie that is nonetheless hilarious. You will laugh at, not with, Mamma Mia." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 4/4 |
Man On Wire (2008) |
"A giddy dream, a suspenser, a harrowing surreal comedy of the possible--like Dog Day Afternoon told by Amelie." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 4/4 |
Margot at the Wedding (2007) |
"In paying homage to Eric Rohmer, the master of bourgeois moral dilemmas, Noah Baumbach has in many ways improved on perfection." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Michael Clayton (2007) |
"So: the crazy people are the truly sane ones. Does this sound more like a complex 70s thriller or a dizzy 60s dream?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Monsters vs. Aliens (2009) |
"I was hoping Monsters Vs. Aliens would turn out to be a documentary about the Trial Lawyers Association against the Taliban. Maybe both sides would get wiped out?" |
Kyle Smith |
IGN RSS Feeds
