Tomato 3/4 |
Crank High Voltage (2009) |
"See this f%$&*ing movie, mate." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1/4 |
He's Just Not That Into You (2009) |
"Seven smiles on the poster of a movie about rejection? Why not make an airy romantic comedy called You've Got Melanoma?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
The International (2009) |
"The whole point of a nefarious institution is that it doesn't have to get its hands dirty. Who needs assassins when you have lobbyists?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Monsters vs. Aliens (2009) |
"I was hoping Monsters Vs. Aliens would turn out to be a documentary about the Trial Lawyers Association against the Taliban. Maybe both sides would get wiped out?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Observe and Report (2009) |
"Reminded me of the work of Paul Thomas Anderson and Quentin Tarantino." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
A Serious Man (2009) |
"You're unlikely to react with much more than a shrug." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
The Soloist (2009) |
"A neat summation of how liberal thinking boils down to one symbol -- a soiled, tattered American flag, emblem of our supposed national shame -- and one phrase: 'Force him.'" |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2.5/4 |
Star Trek (2009) |
"Barely competent. J.J. Abrams has a TV soul." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days (2008) |
"Excruciating, ugly and very, very foreign. Sounds like the ideal candidate for the Palme D'Or." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Appaloosa (2008) |
"When you're lookin for an Olde Time, pistol-wieldin', rootin', tootin' varmint, hire somebody other than Jeremy Irons. What is this--Bonanza Revisited?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Body of Lies (2008) |
"Gets across a palpable sense of Iraq fatigue. Which is another way of saying it invites the audience to see the talking-Chihuahua picture instead." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Bolt (2008) |
"Essential to the proceedings is a fired-up hamster who believes the dog is the superhero he plays on 'the magic box' and is itching to help him: 'Ring, ring! Who is it? Destiny? I've been expecting your call.'" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Changeling (2008) |
"Could have been made in 1938 with Bette Davis." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Cloverfield (2008) |
"A combination of unpleasantness and stupidity that would be difficult to match, unless you were stuck in bed with the shingles while being forced to watch The Ghost Whisperer." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 4/4 |
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) |
"A new American classic." |
Kyle Smith |
- |
The Dark Knight (2008) |
"A conservative movie that lives on a razor edge of tradeoffs. Extremism in the defense of liberty is Batman's virtue." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Definitely, Maybe (2008) |
"This movie sparkles like diamonds." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
The Express (2008) |
"Just about good enough to be the 40th best episode of Friday Night Lights. Which has aired 39 episodes." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 0.5/4 |
Fool's Gold (2008) |
"Ought to come with a warning sign posted in the lobby: no shirt, no shoes, no laughs." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) |
"Writing and starring in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Jason Segel gets emotionally naked. He bares his soul. Also, he lets us see his schlong. As Steve Martin said, comedy is not pretty." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Frost/Nixon (2008) |
"A better title might have been, 'I interviewed an ex-president for 29 hours and all I got was two lousy sound bites.' Still, an incisive character study." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Funny Games (2008) |
"Rivals and probably tops the Ellen Page internet-predator film Hard Candy in disgusting, vile, vicious, incandescently brutal wickedness. So why did I love this evil film?" |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1/4 |
Get Smart (2008) |
"The Aughties equivalent of the Dan Aykroyd/Tom Hanks stab at Dragnet." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Ghost Town (2008) |
"Ricky Gervais is lethally funny talking to dead people in his big-screen debut as a leading man." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Hancock (2008) |
"His symbol is the eagle. He beats up on little Frenchmen. He is 'the only one of my kind,' the world's lone and lonely superpower. Hancock is a clever metaphor for America in the world." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008) |
"There's a reason why Foreign Affairs has never done a theme issue about "Dude, Where's My Car?"" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
In Bruges (2008) |
"A cold little jolt of cruelty, which is more than most crime thrillers can offer." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
The Incredible Hulk (2008) |
"Iron Man is easily superior to The Incredible Hulk. Tony Stark's wit, his flair, the way everything comes easily to him and he makes the ladies purr, are all the opposite of what Bruce Banner brings to the party." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) |
"Packed with fights and chases--but then so were the old Tom and Jerry cartoons. The worst Steven Spielberg popcorn flick since 1941." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Iron Man (2008) |
"Visual sizzle, top actors and a witty script, yet it could have been so much better if only it didn't try to cobble together a pacifist warrior." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008) |
"Aggressively bland, a display of X-treme mildness, a cinematic saltine." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 0.5/4 |
Jumper (2008) |
"A movie about wormholes made from a script riddled with more holes than Hillary Clinton's campaign strategy." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Leatherheads (2008) |
"Like going to a football game and watching the players bring desks and paperwork onto the field. How boring is this movie? I've been more entertained by halftime shows." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
Mamma Mia! (2008) |
"Terrible jokes in a movie that is nonetheless hilarious. You will laugh at, not with, Mamma Mia." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 4/4 |
Man On Wire (2008) |
"A giddy dream, a suspenser, a harrowing surreal comedy of the possible--like Dog Day Afternoon told by Amelie." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
The Other Boleyn Girl (2008) |
"Set your bosoms to heave and prepare to have your bodices ripped: "The Other Boleyn Girl" is in the house with a pair of 16th century foxes." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1/4 |
The Rocker (2008) |
"Memo to Rainn Wilson: A shot of a paunchy middle-aged man in jockey shorts is not automatically funny. Okay, it kind of is. But The Rocker is as formulaic as a Whitesnake song without the virtue of a four-minute running time." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Role Models (2008) |
"Good fun for males in the mental age bracket of 14-22, which is most males." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1/4 |
Semi-Pro (2008) |
"Goes up for the dunk but misses the rim, the backboard and the point. Instead it manages to strike out and get sacked at the same time." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
Sex and the City - The Movie (2008) |
"To its credit, though, the movie turns Carrie's value system, which equates "the two Ls--Labels and Love," to its advantage, and in the second half the movie achieves a nice balance between comedy and drama." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Swing Vote (2008) |
"A usually reliable indicator of a bad movie is this: It contains the credit 'Larry King as himself.'" |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
The Clone Wars (2008) |
"What's Lucas's next big idea for brand extension--Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Darth?" |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Tropic Thunder (2008) |
"Half showbiz satire, half action movie, half broad comedy and all Tom Cruise." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 0.5/4 |
W. (2008) |
"Hee-Haw meets Dr. Strangelove." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2.5/4 |
WALL-E (2008) |
"Too Gloom-E." |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 0.5/4 |
What Happens in Vegas (2008) |
"Should have stayed, not in Vegas, but elsewhere in the state of Nevada. How about those mountains where they are supposed to store the radioactive waste?" |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 1/4 |
Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden? (2008) |
"Not just childish, smug and unfunny but a hideous affront to the 9/11 families, to whom Spurlock owes an abject apology." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3/4 |
You Don't Mess With The Zohan (2008) |
"If "Munich" is the disease, the Zohan is the cure. Some hard little grains of truth make this Sandler's funniest movie since "The Waterboy."" |
Kyle Smith |
Splat 2/4 |
300 (2007) |
"Hey,I only called it a Hitler recruitment video, fellas." |
Kyle Smith |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
American Gangster (2007) |
"Say hello to my leetle M.B.A! It's the black Scarface. But American Gangster is an economic education with as many bullet points as bullets." |
Kyle Smith |
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