Splat |
The Da Vinci Code (2006) |
"No, it's not as bad as you've heard. It's worse." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Dan in Real Life (2007) |
"...about as pleasant as a movie can get without actually being any good." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
The Dancer Upstairs (2003) |
"...painstakingly vague even during the rare scenes it isn't teetering on incoherence--I'm not certain the movie isn't awful. Yet I don't think I'd mind seeing it again." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Daredevil (2003) |
"'Moody' and 'introspective' are simply not in Bennifer's arsenal; plus that leather-fetish superhero getup makes him look like the gimp from Pulp Fiction." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
The Darjeeling Limited (2007) |
"Real life comes crashing into Anderson-ville... and for the first time in his career, the filmmaker seems to be playing the pain for real, without any sight gags or ironic distance to cushion the blow." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
Dark Blue (2003) |
"Russell gives the performance of his life..." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
The Dark Knight (2008) |
"The movie may fall shy of greatness, but that's not for lack of trying." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
Dawn of the Dead (2004) |
"The first 10 minutes are as good as anything I've seen this year --alas, the rest is best viewed late on Friday night after a crap day at work and several beers." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
The Day After Tomorrow (2004) |
"...stupider than Twister!" |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
Days of Glory (2006) |
"There's definitely something in the air, as Flags of Our Fathers, Letters From Iwo Jima and now Days of Glory (cursed new title and all) have been trying to erode that formal spit and polish we associate with The Greatest Generation." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Defiance (2008) |
"Is Edward Zwick the dullest filmmaker in America?" |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Definitely, Maybe (2008) |
"A terminally bland, brutally overlong tale of tedious, attractive people and their banal romantic problems." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Deja Vu (2006) |
"Tony Scott must've finally taken his Ritalin." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Demonlover (2003) |
"It's sort of like watching paint dry, except the paint has a Ph.D in comparative media studies." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
The Departed (2006) |
"It's a snarling, magnificent beast. Welcome back, pal." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
The Descent (2006) |
"An exercise in pure craftsmanship, this is one lean, mean, blood-curdling thriller -- maybe the best of its scrappy breed since The Blair Witch Project.
" |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
The Devil and Daniel Johnston (2006) |
"This astonishingly well-made movie stubbornly refuses to ask some important questions. Are we watching mental illness as performance art?" |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
The Devil Came On Horseback (2007) |
"Brian Steidle wants to show you some pictures. Please look at them." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
The Devil's Rejects (2005) |
"Every theater showing this film should be contractually obligated to smell bad. It's a toxic little picture -- and also something of a masterpiece. See you in Hell." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Die Hard 4: Live Free or Die Hard (2007) |
"Willis lumbers through the movie like an angry dinosaur, while Wiseman panders to a generation that wasn't even born when the first flick was released. 'Yippie-kay-yay, motherfu-' -- whoops, can't say that one anymore either." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
A Dirty Shame (2004) |
"All the dated satirical targets are hit during the first few minutes, and then the movie repeats the same joke ad nauseum -- it's like a record that won't stop skipping." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
District 9 (2009) |
"After you've watched a doomed alien race become obsessed with cat food and Nigerian prostitutes, gunfights don't seem all that impressive anymore." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007) |
"...transcends the sappy trappings thanks to Schnabel's adventurous, virtuoso direction." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
Dogville (2003) |
"Yes, all the rumours are true. Dogville is vile, hilarious... and essential.
" |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Domino (2005) |
"Not a lot of movies can ruin a Tom Waits cameo. Domino is like staring into a strobe light, only louder.
" |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Don't Come Knocking (2006) |
"A movie at war with itself, Wim Wenders' latest adopts an ambling gait and doofy cornpone poses in the service of material that probably deserved deeper, more serious consideration." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Don't Move (2005) |
"A perversely compelling collection of ghastly ideas..." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Donkey Punch (2009) |
"On the plus side, at least it wasn't called Dirty Sanchez." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Down in the Valley (2006) |
"...one of those karaoke pictures that doesn't seem nearly as interested in telling a story as it is in cataloguing the filmmaker's countless influences." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
Drag Me To Hell (2009) |
"Not a movie likely to be enjoyed by cat lovers..." |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Dreamer (2005) |
"...a well-acted chunk of Velveeta." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
The Dreamers (2004) |
"An over-ripe orgasm of a film, but also a weary one. After gorging for hours on youthful idealism, Bertolucci finally drops the hammer and confronts its limitations.
" |
Sean Burns |
Splat |
Dreamgirls (2006) |
"A lot of razzle-dazzle with very little soul...this largely novice cast lacks the necessary force of personality to breathe life into their underwritten stock figures. The lone exception is an electrifying Eddie Murphy." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
Duane Hopwood (2005) |
"An unusually memorable picture of one man's bad time." |
|
Splat |
The Duchess (2008) |
"Relatively painless, at least by the standards of awards-season chum..." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005) |
"Big dumb fun. You can actually feel yourself getting stupider while watching it- but it's such a sunny, upbeat, eager-to-please movie, the silliness becomes infectious." |
Sean Burns |
Tomato |
Duplicity (2009) |
"A fluffy, comedic sequel to CLOSER... breezy, delightful and bitterly hilarious." |
Sean Burns |
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