Splat 3/4 |
G-Force (2009) |
"G-Force is bright and funny, but surprisingly, it's more of an adventure film than a comedy." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009) |
"Lots of things never become clear in "G.I.," which is so busy setting up a sequel that it doesn't even tell us what has become of two of the three main bad guys." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
Gabrielle (2005) |
"Most of all, we think, 'Gosh, all of these experiments make for a cold, uninvolving film.'" |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Game 6 (2006) |
"If you're looking for a film about smart, confused people who make mistakes (like Buckner) and try to learn from them, this could be it." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
Game Over - Kasparov and the Machine (2003) |
"If you don't know a knight's gambit from a rook switcheroo -- or if you don't know there's no such thing as a rook switcheroo -- it probably won't interest you." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
The Game Plan (2007) |
"Not great, not bad." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Gamer (2009) |
"Unfortunately, most of the ideas Neveldine and Taylor use to create an alterna-world in "Gamer" were already used to better effect in the brilliantly crappy "Crank."" |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
Gangs of New York (2002) |
"The 1860s New York sets in Gangs of New York are amazing. Too bad the dull characters keep blocking our view of them." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1/4 |
Garcon Stupide (2006) |
"The movie could also be called Uninteresting Boy or Stares Blankly Into the Distance in a Way That's Supposed to Look Pensive but Just Makes Him Look Like an Underwear Model Boy." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Garden State (2004) |
"Impeccably cast." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1/4 |
Garfield the Movie (2004) |
"This Garfield doesn't even look like the Garfield we know, love and used to have smashed on our car windows with suction cups." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (2006) |
"The 'best' part is that it looks better than the previous Garfield movie, where the computer-animated kitty's weird glow made him resemble a nightlight that couldn't decide if it wanted to soothe or terrify kids." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Genesis - Where Are We Coming From? (2005) |
"Because the images are so original and beautiful, Genesis is a movie you'll want to see on the big screen." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
Gentlemen Broncos (2009) |
"A whole bunch of fecal, scrotal and pukal jokes have been planted in Gentlemen Broncos to distract us from its lack of narrative momentum." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 2.5 |
George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead (2008) |
"What saves the film is Romero's peerless command of the language of gore." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
George A. Romero's Land of the Dead (2005) |
"All of Romero's experimentation comes to fruition in Land, which proves he has not exhausted zombies." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1/4 |
Georgia Rule (2007) |
"How bad is it for actresses in Hollywood? Well, three really good ones thought Georgia Rule was their best option." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
Gerry (2003) |
"It's riveting. Honestly." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat |
Get Carter (2000) |
"[Stallone] has to wade through way too many scenes in which show-offy camera work turns him upside down or flashes lights at him or divides him up into three screens." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat |
Get Over It (2001) |
"Harshly lighted and awkwardly edited." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2005) |
"The premise of Get Rich would be ridiculous if it weren't close to the truth and if the movie weren't refreshingly aware of its ridiculousness." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Get Smart (2008) |
"Although it's ideally cast and consistently semi-amusing, Get Smart takes its cue from the wishy-washy lead character." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004) |
"Baits us with an involving film-noir murder mystery, then switches to all that man/machine consciousness mumbo-jumbo ... then splatters blood all over the place." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1/4 |
Ghost Rider (2007) |
"What should be scuzzy, goofy fun becomes morose, off-key dreck in the hands of writer/director Mark Steven Johnson." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
Ghost Town (2008) |
"Ghost Town isn't terrible; if it were on TV, I'd watch it. But it's a couple of steps away from being good, and many more steps away from being as good as the movies and plays it swipes from." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato |
Ghost World (2001) |
"Its respect for its characters and their quirks are a minty-fresh reminder that beauty can be found in the most unexpected places." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2.5/4 |
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009) |
"All those snappy supporting performers take the focus off the movie's romantic-comedy trappings." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
Ghosts of the Abyss (2003) |
"Robotic cameras are our eyes in Ghosts, taking us into the ship and showing us spectacular sights." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1.5/4 |
Gigantic (2008) |
"Gigantic has an idiotic screenplay in which nothing fits together with anything else and in which the two-dimensional characters get knocked down to one dimension as the movie progresses." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
Gigantic (A Tale of Two Johns) (2003) |
"Gigantic accomplishes something very difficult: It makes you feel like part of a club even if you aren't." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1/4 |
Gigli (2003) |
"Jennifer Lopez plays a lesbian in Gigli, and Ben Affleck plays a heterosexual man, which means they have one thing in common: Both of them are in a crummy movie." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
A Girl Cut in Two (2008) |
"...The film's pleasures come from the wit with which Chabrol assembles it as each scene glides sedately into the next one." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
The Girl From Monaco (2009) |
"The Girl From Monaco is a romantic comedy/drama, but the most appealing relationship has nothing to do with the girl of the title." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
The Girl from Paris (2002) |
"It's a small, simple movie, but, by the end, you feel like you've met two people you'd enjoy hanging with." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
The Girl Next Door (2004) |
"As horny and undisciplined as a 16-year-old, and it's as formulaic as geometry, but it's entertaining anyway because it takes that formula and executes it about as well as it can be executed." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3.5/4 |
Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003) |
"A graceful book becomes an even more graceful movie." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
The Girlfriend Experience (2009) |
"Chris and Chelsea, the main characters in The Girlfriend Experience, are buff, hot, busy and boring." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
Girls Will Be Girls (2003) |
"The laughs in Girls Will Be Girls are cheap laughs, but when you assemble this many of them in one place, they're worth a lot." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato |
Gladiator (2000) |
"It resurrects an exciting genre that has been dead since Kirk Douglas hung up his sandals." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 2.5/4 |
Glastonbury (2007) |
"The movie's 135 minutes [feels] long. But the length is a product of [director] Temple's desire to cram in as much as he can. Despite the festival's drawbacks, it's obvious Temple loves everything about it. Even Coldplay." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
The Gleaners and I (2001) |
"Agnes Varda finds that one man's trash is literally another man's treasure in her highly personal The Gleaners and I." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat |
Glitter (2001) |
"You'd have a breakdown, too, if you were stuck in a movie as drab and glum as Glitter." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
Glory Road (2006) |
"The big game at the end of the film has the momentum and rhythm of a really exciting basketball game. It's just that the 90 minutes that come before that scene aren't so great." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
Go For Zucker (2004) |
"Because it's from Germany and we're not onto the tricks of the lead actors, the way this familiar tale plays out is a lot of fun." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato |
Go Tigers! (2001) |
"Asks all the right questions, and it suggests, fascinatingly, that the same amoral melodramatics that are playing out on the national sports scene are destined to play out locally." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 2/4 |
Goal! (2006) |
"The script is about as solid as a penalty kick with a deflated ball." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato 3/4 |
God Grew Tired of Us (2007) |
"God Grew Tired of Us is a better film than Lost Boys of Sudan, focusing on details of the men's lives and shifting fluidly between three distinct "characters": John, Daniel and Panther." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1/4 |
God Is Great, I'm Not (2002) |
"I was trying to decide what annoyed me most about God is Great... I'm Not, and then I realized that I just didn't care." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Splat 1/4 |
Gods and Generals (2003) |
"It's not that Gods and Generals is almost four hours long. It's that it's four hours of bad." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
Tomato |
Godzilla 2000 (2000) |
"There is a limit to the entertainment value of the deliberately bad, but Godzilla 2000 stays just on the right side of it." |
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) |
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