Splat |
Miami Vice (2006) |
"Where are the babes? The boobs? The bling? The alligators and neon? Grimly determined to rebrand his franchise and rewrite cultural history, Mann has turned Crockett and Tubbs into a solemn pair of nighthawks..." |
Brian Miller |
Splat |
Mighty Joe Young (1998) |
"... a frustrating cartoon of a movie..." |
Sean Axmaker |
- |
Million Dollar Baby (2004) |
"Says Medved, "By voting for Clint and his movie, you can cast an emphatic vote against Medved and Medvedism."
" |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 5/5 |
Moolaade (2004) |
"Sembene nails down an entire society in a series of immortally ordinary moments worthy of Satyajit Ray, with the regular-guy (or gal!) heroism of Howard Hawks.
" |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 7/10 |
Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005) |
"In the annals of no-sex-please Brit nudie revues, this Oscar hopeful falls between the The Full Monty's Rabelaisian stew and Calendar Girls' charming but thin broth." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 7/10 |
Oliver Twist (2005) |
"Fails to topple Lean's untoppable version; still one of the best movies of 2005. Startlingly unemotional, but for the stormy torments behind Fagin's overhanging eyebrows." |
Tim Appelo |
Splat 2/5 |
The Passion of the Christ (2004) |
"Might be mistaken for an instructional video on meat-tenderizing techniques for cannibal chefs. Mel's a muscular Christian without a philosophical bone in his head." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 5/5 |
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) |
"Are the DVD extras worth the doubloons? Arrgh, heartily, matey! They're a very three-disc treasure chest worth a keelhauling to own." |
Tim Appelo |
Splat 2.5/10 |
Pretty Persuasion (2005) |
"Wood's not an interesting psycho—just numb, mumbling, and dull. Pretty unpersuasive." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 8/10 |
Pride and Prejudice (2005) |
"The 1940 version had its flaws, too--who wants to **** Mrs. Miniver? Knightley is a Lizzie for our profane time.
" |
Tim Appelo |
Splat 2/10 |
Proof (2005) |
"Catherine is an infinitely less convincing version of Arcadia's girl genius; the proof is just a MacGuffin; it runs out of plot and has not one idea in its head." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 7.5/10 |
Rent (2005) |
"Rent works best as a centaur creation: half-movie, half-play, plunging into theater world in all its mindless, cheesy, sentimental splendor." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 4/5 |
The Rolling Stones - Rock and Roll Circus (1968) |
"Spiffily restored and bursting at the seams with extra features. One-third of the performers were on heroin, including John Lennon." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 9/10 |
Run Lola Run (1999) |
"Run Lola Run is a high-octane pulse-pounder driven by style, speed, deviously clever flourishes, and a driving techno-beat--a film that moves so fast it almost breaks free of its limited orbit." |
Sean Axmaker |
Tomato 5/5 |
The Squid and the Whale (2005) |
"The most impressive debut at Sundance was Noah Baumbach's wickedly, heartbreakingly funny divorce drama, The Squid and the Whale. A time-capsule keeper." |
Tim Appelo |
Splat 1/10 |
Stealth (2005) |
"For at least the first hour, Stealth is a SAEBCPSOS (Shockingly and Excruciatingly Boring Columbia Pictures Sack of S---)." |
Tim Appelo |
Splat 3.5/10 |
The Talent Given Us (2004) |
"The big problem with this verité film is that nothing in it is verified. Verily, a lot of it is just B.S." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato |
Tell Them Who You Are (2005) |
"That the two can come to any understanding at all is one of the film's miracles, since -- professional competitiveness aside -- their past is a minefield of unexpressed resentment." |
Sheila Benson |
Tomato |
The Thin Red Line (1998) |
"... one of the richest and lushest films ever to emerge from Hollywood." |
Sean Axmaker |
Tomato 9/10 |
The Third Man (1949) |
"Reed rises to the challenge of Graham Greene's screenplay." |
Sean Axmaker |
Tomato 4/5 |
Thumbsucker (2005) |
"Has the gentle off-kilter charm of early Cameron Crowe; Pucci's performance evokes early River Phoenix or Leo DiCaprio. Polyphonic Spree's harmonies are like choral hydrate." |
Tim Appelo |
Splat 4/10 |
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride (2005) |
"It doesn't stink, but it's a mere technical advance that pales next to Nightmare. The maggot's a Jiminy Cricket manque. And it's just not very animated." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 7/10 |
Tony Takitani (2005) |
"Impressively reduces Murakami's hard-boiled word world to a floating-picture world. But like Lish's edits of Ray Carver, it mutes a story that was nearly mute to begin with." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato |
Touch of Evil (1958) |
"...Welles' baroque border-town murder mystery is a wild masterpiece, a sleazy, grimy, jittery, and ultimately dazzling work of cinematic magic." |
Sean Axmaker |
Splat 2/5 |
Undertow (2004) |
"Bad in the worst way, yet it trails clouds of glory and authentic stink from a Georgia pigsty. Pretty, a legitimate auteurist statement. And a flop." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato |
Vampires (1994) |
"It's machismo run amuck in a dusty, dusky Southwestern setting with a Ry Cooder-twinged country blues score. And Carpenter loves it." |
Sean Axmaker |
Tomato 7/10 |
Videodrome (1983) |
"Underbaked, but you can't argue with its otherworldly aura. One disappointment: we don't get to see the belly-slit sex organs Baker designed for the never-used orgy finale." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 8/10 |
Voices in Wartime (2005) |
"One of the most original war movies ever made. Men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there." |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 9/10 |
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005) |
"Nick Park is Tim Burton's opposite: his storytelling is smooth, his visual technique jerky. Go for the guy who can tell a story, as Burton has failed to do for 11 years now." |
Tim Appelo |
Splat 7/10 |
Winter Solstice (2005) |
"Anthony LaPaglia does understated wonders...He could beat David Duchovny in an underacting contest. Few movies score so many true moments. And few add up to less.
" |
Tim Appelo |
Tomato 4/5 |
Yes (2005) |
"TELLURIDE'S MOST buzzed picture was Yes, a stunning epic whose volcanic eruptions cast lurid light on the collision of male and female, Muslim and American. In rhyme!" |
Tim Appelo |
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