This morning, someone left a message on my answering machine apologizing for not calling me back last night - his phone didn't tell him he had a new VM until this morning.

Then I hear this beep. And a sigh. And another beep. And another sigh. And another beep. And "you mother fucker." And a final beep.

Seems he had some problems ending the call.

Okay, so the transcript isn't as funny.

Oh shit.

"People who have had more than five oral-sex partners in their lifetime are 250% more likely to have throat cancer than those who do not have oral sex, a new study suggests..."

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I quit smoking, people. That's as far as I'm willing to go.

Do you think it's worse if you're blowing a smoker?

Just asking.

I'm trying not to be a jerk - and it's hard!

"Desecrating the grave of a family member is always a fun way to end a story."

- RatGirl

...the role of Martha, usually played by Kathleen Turner, will be played by Deidre Madigan.

Nothing against Ms. Madigan, who was perfectly in the role, but for Christ's sake, I was already in the back row of the Schubert, wasn't that enough? I almost turned in my ticket. I came very very close. But what the hell else was I going to do - sit at home and pout? Bill Irwin was in, after all, and he won the Tony. And I'd never seen the play, only the movie. Still, it royally sucked ass - the situation I mean, not the show. I couldn't help but try and put KT in the role. I wanted to see a Martha with her kind of inherent sultriness.

Irwin was amazing and Madigan was probably terrific, it's just hard to tell. This is the second time this has happened to me. The first was Rachel York in the last Bway revival of Kiss Me, Kate. The understudy was pefectly fine as well, but I needed York to counteract the fact that Fred/Pertruchio was played by Rex fucking Smith - who tapped his foot to the music during his big solos.

{growl}